Skip to main content
FamilyEducation
FamilyEducation
Family Education

FE-Menu

  • Pregnancy
    • <blank>
      • Pregnancy Tracker
      • Trying to Conceive
      • Signs & Symptoms
      • Pregnancy Health
    • <blank>
      • Baby Names
      • High Risk Pregnancies
      • Preparing for Baby
    • <blank>
      • Concerns & Complications
      • Labor & Delivery
      • Postpartum
  • Baby Names
    • <blank>
      • Browse All Baby Names (A-Z)
      • Top Names for Boys
      • Top Names for Girls
      • Baby Name Generator
    • <blank>
      • Baby Name Lists & Ideas
      • First Names By Origin
      • Browse All Last Names (A-Z)
      • Last Names by Origin
  • Babies
    • <blank>
      • Caring For Your Baby
      • Baby's Health
      • Feeding Your Baby
    • <blank>
      • Your Baby and Sleep
      • Baby's Growth & Development
      • Baby Hygiene
    • <blank>
      • Baby Safety
      • Baby Products
    • <blank>
  • Toddlers
    • <blank>
      • Toddler Growth and Development
    • <blank>
      • Toddler Behavior and Discipline
    • <blank>
      • Your Toddler and Sleep
  • Kids
    • <blank>
      • Health
      • Childhood Development
      • Fitness & Nutrition
      • Childhood Safety
    • <blank>
      • Communicating with Your Kids
      • Childhood Behavior and Discipline
      • Fostering Responsibility
      • Instilling Values & Manners
    • <blank>
      • Childcare
      • Neurodiversity in Kids
      • Adopting Children
  • Teens
    • <blank>
      • Teen Health
      • Teen Puberty & Sex
    • <blank>
      • Behavior & Discipline
      • Teen Social Development
    • <blank>
      • Values & Responsibilities
  • Activities
    • <blank>
      • Printables
      • Indoor Activities
      • Learning Activities
      • Arts and Crafts
      • Performing Arts
      • Food Activities
      • Outdoor Activities
    • <blank>
      • Books
      • TV
      • Movies
      • Online
      • Quizzes
      • Games
      • Celebrities
    • <blank>
      • Parties
      • Travel
      • Toys
      • Holidays
      • Gifts
  • Learning
    • <blank>
      • By Grade
      • By Subject
      • College
      • Preschool
    • <blank>
      • Back to School
      • Study Skills
      • Learning Styles
    • <blank>
      • Homeschooling
      • Parental Involvement
      • Your Child's School
  • Family Life
    • <blank>
      • Mom Life
      • Dad Life
      • Family Relationships
      • Having a Healthy Marriage
      • Divorce
    • <blank>
      • Health & Fitness
      • COVID Resources
      • Managing Your Home
      • Moving Your Family
      • Pets
    • <blank>
      • Family Finances
      • Work
      • Families and Food
  • NewslettersNewsletters
    Newsletters

Breadcrumb

  1. Home
  2. Toddlers
  3. Toddler Growth and Development
  4. The Terrible Twos: A Part Of Emotional Development

The Terrible Twos: A Part of Emotional Development

Learn what you can do to help your toddler manage her emotions.
  • facebook share icon
  • pin
  • twitter share icon
  • email share icon
  • Print page icon

The Terrible Twos: A Part of Emotional Development

Why are they called the "terrible twos"? Probably because of the way two-year-olds express their emotions. Feelings are raw and powerful at age two. Most toddlers put their emotions right out there where you can see them clearly. So when your toddler is feeling happy and loving, she will throw her arms around you, she will beam and giggle and chortle, and she may even say in a singsong voice, "I love you." When your child feels sad or lonely, her face contorts with pain, and tears stream from her eyes as she desperately searches for your comfort and company. And when your child feels angry or frustrated, she screams and kicks and bites like a rabid animal. You've probably never seen such a naked expression of emotion as the display put on by your two-year-old.

And you're not the only one seeing the raw power of your child's emotions. Throughout the third year, your child will become increasingly aware of herself—and her emotions. What must it be like to notice emotions for the first time? Your child doesn't yet have the words to describe it, but she probably feels confused, overwhelmed, and frightened by the sheer power of her own feelings. For she knows that they are uncontrollable: that she cannot manage them by herself. They seem to come from out of the blue and possess her.

Your child probably doesn't even have the words to describe the increasing range of her emotions. Oh, sure, your toddler knows the basics: sad and glad and mad. But does she know the words for the more complex shadings that she now feels: scared, ashamed, guilty, jealous, kind, considerate, empathetic, embarrassed, resentful, disappointed, relieved, and proud?

Emotional Rescue

Your toddler needs your help to manage his emotions. He needs your help to find the words that express his needs and emotions. Your child also needs your help to cope with this new array of feelings. Perhaps you might dissipate your child's anger, helping to change the mood with a joke, a smile, or a treat. Or maybe you'll relieve some of his sadness or fear with a warm hug, kind words, and a soft voice.

Observe your child with care during this third year. Your two-year-old will send clear signals that telegraph his emotions. But he still needs you to receive them and translate them for him. Until your child has a greater facility with words, he needs you to help define his emotions. So do your best to pay attention and help your child acknowledge his feelings.

Try not to deny your toddler's feelings in your well-intended attempts to bolster his courage or relieve his pain. Eliminate from your vocabulary phrases like:

  • "You're not scared of that pigeon, are you?"
  • "Don't be sad."
  • "There's nothing to be jealous about."
  • "You don't have any reason to be angry."
  • "Buck up, you're not hurt."

Your two-year-old is probably having a hard time just trying to comprehend his emotions in the first place. You make it that much harder if you deny that these feelings even exist—or if you deny their legitimacy. Children feel sad, mad, jealous, and hurt. Whether we have a right to feel the way we do, or whether our feelings are reasonable, we feel what we feel when we feel it. Your child has become a person, too. So don't deny what he finds so real, so powerful, and sometimes, so frightening.

Was this article helpful?

Thank you for your feedback.

What's hot

  • Ending Toddler Bedtime Struggles ToddlersSimple Steps to Ending…
  • Refusing to Eat ToddlersTwo-Year-Old Refuses to Eat
  • toddler potty training ToddlersPotty Training Tips for When…
  • 12 Toddler Playtime Activities Using Common Household Items Toddlers12 Toddler Playtime…
NewslettersNewsletters
Your partner in parenting from baby name inspiration to college planning.
Family Education
FamilyEducation does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Information on our advertising guidelines can be found here.

FE Footer

  • Newsletter Center
  • About Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Editorial Policy
  • Editorial Team
  • Expert Panel
  • Medical Review Policy
  • Fact-Checking Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • Site Map
  • Contact Us
  • Advertise
  • Terms of Use
  • Do Not Sell My Info (for CA Residents)
sandbox learning logo
Family Education is part of the Sandbox Learning family of educational reference sites for parents, teachers, and students. 

factmonster logoinfoplease logoTeacherVision logo

sandbbox logo
©2022 Sandbox Networks Inc. All rights reserved. Sandbox Learning is part of Sandbox & Co., a digital learning company.