Do You Know One of These Annoying Facebook Moms?

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by: Lindsay Hutton
Social media can be a wonderful thing, especially when you have kids. Not only does it allow you share pictures and milestones of your kids with your friends, it also can be a great source of support when the going gets tough and you need a place to vent. But as we all know, it's also a place where people can be, well, kind of annoying. Is anyone on your friend list guilty of being one of these annoying Facebook moms? (Or, [gasp] are you one of them?)
Woman sitting on couch looking annoyed on computer
The "MommyJacker"
"MommyJacking" refers to posting comments that work a child and/or being a parent into a Facebook status, no matter the topic. For example, if someone excitedly posts about earning their long-awaited, hard-earned Master's degree, a MommyJacker might comment with, "Oh, that's great! I remember earning my Master's, but it doesn't get any use anymore because being a parent takes up all my time! By the way, little Timmy is finally potty-trained! Woo hoo to no more diapers!"

Of course, we all know parenting is amazing, and hard, and priceless, and life-changing, and a whole slew of other things that can't adequately be put into words. But, parenting isn't the end-all and be-all of everything. Sometimes we all just need a kid-free zone!

Mom and kids in kitchen on computer
The "Super-Mom"
"Already prepped dinner, made baby food from scratch, gave my child a bath, went to the gym, and showered, and it's not even 9am yet. No rest for this busy parent! #Supermom!"

How many times have you seen this status? And how many times has it made you feel bad? Parenting is challenging enough without having to compete with a non-existent Super Mom's lifestyle (let's face it, nobody has it all together). It's statuses like this that will get a friend blocked from our newsfeed, stat.

Woman looking over computer monitor
The "Patronizer"
"Oh, you're tired because you couldn't sleep last night? Wait until you have kids!" "You think your job is stressful? Wait until you have kids!" "Wait until you have kids — then you'll know the real meaning of love!"

Yes, parenting adds a whole new dimension to a lot of emotions and feelings, but that doesn't mean child-less people are unable to feel anything, or that they "don't understand." Anyone can be tired, jobs can be stressful, people can be over-extended, and love is a real emotion for everyone. Trivializing the lives and emotions of those who don't have kids or share the same experiences will only come across as condescending and smug. Everyone deserves a little empathy!

Annoyed woman on laptop in kitchen
The "Over-Sharer"
"Off to Little Johnnie's circumcision!" "My daughter's diaper just exploded and now I have poop dripping down my shirt." "Man, my nipples sore from breastfeeding!"

As moms, bodily functions, boogers, and various forms of vomit may be part our routine, but not everyone wants to hear about that daily joy. If a status has the word "poop," "circumcision," "nipple," or anything else that would qualify as TMI, please, for the sake of all your friendships, leave it off the Internet.

Couple looking annoyed on laptop
The "Hidden-Bragger"
"I'm so sad my little boy is such a good sleeper. I miss our 3 a.m. snuggle sessions!" "Such a bummer that my little one started reading at such an early age. She doesn't let me read anything to her anymore because all she wants to do is read to ME!"

Ah, masterfully "hiding" a brag in the form of a complaint ... or even better, "hiding" a brag on your husband's public wall instead of sending it through a message. "The baby's 18-month appointment went well today! The doctor was impressed she knows the entire alphabet! Raising a genius over here! Hahaha j/k (winky face)!"

Hmm, sounds like a (not-so) subtle way of fishing for compliments! Yep, that gets the annoying stamp for sure.

Two annoyed women sitting at a table on the computer
The "Comment/Like Phisher"
Have you ever been called out by a friend for not liking one of her child's pictures on Facebook? Oh yeah — it happens.

Racking up the likes and comments can give anyone a small tinge of satisfaction. And we all know it can be addicting to post pictures of the cutest kid in the world doing the cutest thing in the world. So what if it means we post new pictures or videos, ohhhh, every five minutes or so, expecting Facebookland to instantly erupt in delight?

Ok, moms, we may need to take a step back from FB and get more validation from real friendships. Face-to-face interaction is always best, so it always feels better to focus on real-life relationships instead of trying to form a fan club online.

Asian woman sitting in kitchen on phone
The "Jealousy-Inducer"
It should be the first rule in the parenting handbook to never compare your child to another, but Facebook can easily make us all feel like we (and our kids) just aren't up to par. First words, potty-training, learning to walk... is your feed full of kids who are always just a tiny bit more ahead of the curve than yours?

We all know babies have their own hits and misses. Some sleep as if they are hibernating for the whole season, while others will convince us that all babies are born nocturnal. Some kids love eating peas and carrots and organic green smoothies, while other parents would trade a limb just to get their kid to eat a bowl of mac and cheese. Still other parents might have a toddler whose idea of fun is sitting quietly reading books, while others have a kid who thinks playing is only fun if it involves high-pitched screaming while finger-painting on the walls of Home Depot naked. We should be allowed to occasionally boast about something our child has done, but it's good to stay humble (even though we do have THE best kids ever.)

Happy woman running on treadmill
The "Fit-Mom"
Fitness is important and everyone, parents especially, deserves to take time out to take care of themselves. And you know what? Finding the time to exercise while being a parent can be really hard, so it's understandable that you'd be proud of yourself for doing it. A gym check-in here and there, or an excited mention of a new fitness class or routine won't raise ire among your friend base. But posting an entire fitness regimen, or posting a picture of your rock-hard abs only weeks after giving birth? That might cause a stir.
Frustrated woman with head on desk in front of computer
The "Non-Stop Complainer"
"I'm so jealous of everyone that got to go out this weekend! I never, ever, ever get to do that anymore." "Another day, another super fun kid's birthday party. Is there a sarcasm font?" "Potty training is super fun! Said nobody ever."

Ah, the non-stop complainer. These posts would make you think being a parent is the worst thing in the world, and we're all guilty of them. Yes, sometimes we just need a good venting session, but let's not scare off all those child-less friends out there, or they'll turn into the smug ones!