Skip to main content
FamilyEducation
FamilyEducation
Family Education

FE-Menu

  • Pregnancy
    • <blank>
      • Pregnancy Tracker
      • Trying to Conceive
      • Signs & Symptoms
      • Pregnancy Health
    • <blank>
      • Baby Names
      • High Risk Pregnancies
      • Preparing for Baby
    • <blank>
      • Concerns & Complications
      • Labor & Delivery
      • Postpartum
  • Baby Names
    • <blank>
      • Browse All Baby Names (A-Z)
      • Top Names for Boys
      • Top Names for Girls
      • Baby Name Generator
    • <blank>
      • Baby Name Lists & Ideas
      • First Names By Origin
      • Browse All Last Names (A-Z)
      • Last Names by Origin
  • Babies
    • <blank>
      • Caring For Your Baby
      • Baby's Health
      • Feeding Your Baby
    • <blank>
      • Your Baby and Sleep
      • Baby's Growth & Development
      • Baby Hygiene
    • <blank>
      • Baby Safety
      • Baby Products
    • <blank>
  • Toddlers
    • <blank>
      • Toddler Growth and Development
    • <blank>
      • Toddler Behavior and Discipline
    • <blank>
      • Your Toddler and Sleep
  • Kids
    • <blank>
      • Health
      • Childhood Development
      • Fitness & Nutrition
      • Childhood Safety
    • <blank>
      • Communicating with Your Kids
      • Childhood Behavior and Discipline
      • Fostering Responsibility
      • Instilling Values & Manners
    • <blank>
      • Childcare
      • Neurodiversity in Kids
      • Adopting Children
  • Teens
    • <blank>
      • Teen Health
      • Teen Puberty & Sex
    • <blank>
      • Behavior & Discipline
      • Teen Social Development
    • <blank>
      • Values & Responsibilities
  • Activities
    • <blank>
      • Printables
      • Indoor Activities
      • Learning Activities
      • Arts and Crafts
      • Performing Arts
      • Food Activities
      • Outdoor Activities
    • <blank>
      • Books
      • TV
      • Movies
      • Online
      • Quizzes
      • Games
      • Celebrities
    • <blank>
      • Parties
      • Travel
      • Toys
      • Holidays
      • Gifts
  • Learning
    • <blank>
      • By Grade
      • By Subject
      • College
      • Preschool
    • <blank>
      • Back to School
      • Study Skills
      • Learning Styles
    • <blank>
      • Homeschooling
      • Parental Involvement
      • Your Child's School
  • Family Life
    • <blank>
      • Mom Life
      • Dad Life
      • Family Relationships
      • Having a Healthy Marriage
      • Divorce
    • <blank>
      • Health & Fitness
      • COVID Resources
      • Managing Your Home
      • Moving Your Family
      • Pets
    • <blank>
      • Family Finances
      • Work
      • Families and Food
  • NewslettersNewsletters
    Newsletters

Breadcrumb

  1. Home
  2. Kids
  3. Behavior and Discipline
  4. Determining Your Parenting Style

 

 

Determining Your Parenting Style

Develop your own parenting style to suit both you and your child.
  • facebook share icon
  • pin
  • twitter share icon
  • email share icon
  • Print page icon

Determining Your Parenting Style

Take a few moments to think about your relationship with your child, and your life way back in the dark ages when you were a child. Then answer the following questions. Be honest, now. You don't have to show this to anybody, nobody will ever know (unless you decide to blab). This is between you and you:

  • What parenting styles did you experience as a child?
  • How did your parents teach you to be well behaved?
  • How did your parents discipline you?
  • Did they always teach and correct you with anger?
  • How did they encourage your independence?

List three things your parents did that you wouldn't mind repeating:

  1.  
  2.  
  3.  

List three things your parents did that you will never, ever, not-even-when-the-cows-come-home do to your children:

  1.  
  2.  
  3.  

Now think about your own parenting.

  • How often do you criticize your child?
  • How often do you provide specific, positive feedback?
  • In what ways do you show your pride and enthusiasm?
  • In what ways are you instilling your values, and your ethics?
  • Do you “rescue” your kids from difficult situations, let them work things our on their own, or help them with their problem-solving?
  • Do you find yourself charging up your anger before you talk to your kids when they've done something wrong? Note a time when a talk with your child felt more like a confrontation.

Unless they consciously make other choices, people tend to slide into the same parenting styles as their parents. (They've internalized their parents' discipline.) By looking at your answers to these sets of questions, you can begin to think about the parenting style that helped shape you, and how you parent now. You can begin to make decisions about adjusting your style. Self-knowledge is the secret, isn't it?

“That Approach Is Not My Style”

There's a difference between parenting approach and parenting style. Parents have all sorts of approaches to parenting, and there's room for positive discipline within all of them. Every family is different, and every family has its own values and customs. In all these examples, the parents are basically strong and reasonable, they just have different ways of applying their style:

  • In Joanie's family, everybody yells all the time, and everybody is always in a hurry.
  • Linda rarely raises her voice, and her kids get up five minutes later than they should every day.
  • Doug's kids have to clean their rooms once a day, before they go to bed.
  • Belinda and Tom's daughter is expected to straighten her room once every six weeks or so, before the cleaning lady comes in to do the heavy cleaning.
  • Sarah and Lou weep with their son when he comes to them about his disappointments.
  • Tony, who is Dave and Lee's kid, has been informed where the Band-Aids are kept. If it's a serious problem, he knows he can call one of his dads. Otherwise, he bandages up, and goes back to play.

When Parents Have Different Approaches

No two parents have exactly the same parenting approach, and even your styles don't need to be an exact match. Some people tend to be laid back and casual, some more strict. Some believe in organizing the household with operating procedures, guidelines, rules, and regulations. Ideally, of course, two parents living together should have a meeting of minds, or at least a balance of parenting styles and approaches. Have a little conference or two to discuss your household's approach. Whatever approach you decide on, make sure you are respecting your children, honoring their autonomy, and nurturing their needs.

Was this article helpful?

Thank you for your feedback.

What's hot

  • Attention Seeking Behaviors KidsHow to Handle an Attention-…
  • an age-by-age guide to teaching kids about "the birds & the bees" KidsAn Age-by-Age Guide to…
  • How to stop bullying KidsHow to Stop Bullying: Real…
  • Treating Burns KidsFirst Aid For Burns: How to…
NewslettersNewsletters
Your partner in parenting from baby name inspiration to college planning.
Family Education
FamilyEducation does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Information on our advertising guidelines can be found here.

FE Footer

  • Newsletter Center
  • About Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Editorial Policy
  • Editorial Team
  • Expert Panel
  • Medical Review Policy
  • Fact-Checking Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • Site Map
  • Contact Us
  • Advertise
  • Terms of Use
  • Do Not Sell My Info (for CA Residents)
sandbox learning logo
Family Education is part of the Sandbox Learning family of educational reference sites for parents, teachers, and students. 

factmonster logoinfoplease logoTeacherVision logo

sandbbox logo
©2022 Sandbox Networks Inc. All rights reserved. Sandbox Learning is part of Sandbox & Co., a digital learning company.