Skip to main content
FamilyEducation
FamilyEducation
Family Education

FE-Menu

  • Pregnancy
    • <blank>
      • Pregnancy Tracker
      • Trying to Conceive
      • Signs & Symptoms
      • Pregnancy Health
    • <blank>
      • Baby Names
      • High Risk Pregnancies
      • Preparing for Baby
    • <blank>
      • Concerns & Complications
      • Labor & Delivery
      • Postpartum
  • Baby Names
    • <blank>
      • Browse All Baby Names (A-Z)
      • Top Names for Boys
      • Top Names for Girls
      • Baby Name Generator
    • <blank>
      • Baby Name Lists & Ideas
      • First Names By Origin
      • Browse All Last Names (A-Z)
      • Last Names by Origin
  • Babies
    • <blank>
      • Caring For Your Baby
      • Baby's Health
      • Feeding Your Baby
    • <blank>
      • Your Baby and Sleep
      • Baby's Growth & Development
      • Baby Hygiene
    • <blank>
      • Baby Safety
      • Baby Products
    • <blank>
  • Toddlers
    • <blank>
      • Toddler Growth and Development
    • <blank>
      • Toddler Behavior and Discipline
    • <blank>
      • Your Toddler and Sleep
  • Kids
    • <blank>
      • Health
      • Childhood Development
      • Fitness & Nutrition
      • Childhood Safety
    • <blank>
      • Communicating with Your Kids
      • Childhood Behavior and Discipline
      • Fostering Responsibility
      • Instilling Values & Manners
    • <blank>
      • Childcare
      • Neurodiversity in Kids
      • Adopting Children
  • Teens
    • <blank>
      • Teen Health
      • Teen Puberty & Sex
    • <blank>
      • Behavior & Discipline
      • Teen Social Development
    • <blank>
      • Values & Responsibilities
  • Activities
    • <blank>
      • Printables
      • Indoor Activities
      • Learning Activities
      • Arts and Crafts
      • Performing Arts
      • Food Activities
      • Outdoor Activities
    • <blank>
      • Books
      • TV
      • Movies
      • Online
      • Quizzes
      • Games
      • Celebrities
    • <blank>
      • Parties
      • Travel
      • Toys
      • Holidays
      • Gifts
  • Learning
    • <blank>
      • By Grade
      • By Subject
      • College
      • Preschool
    • <blank>
      • Back to School
      • Study Skills
      • Learning Styles
    • <blank>
      • Homeschooling
      • Parental Involvement
      • Your Child's School
  • Family Life
    • <blank>
      • Mom Life
      • Dad Life
      • Family Relationships
      • Having a Healthy Marriage
      • Divorce
    • <blank>
      • Health & Fitness
      • COVID Resources
      • Managing Your Home
      • Moving Your Family
      • Pets
    • <blank>
      • Family Finances
      • Work
      • Families and Food
  • NewslettersNewsletters
    Newsletters

Breadcrumb

  1. Home
  2. Family Life
  3. Family Relationships
  4. Parenting Issues
  5. Parenting: Developing A Unified Front

Parenting: Developing a Unified Front

Discuss parenting methods and discipline with your partner to ensure that you're both on the same page.
  • facebook share icon
  • pin
  • twitter share icon
  • email share icon
  • Print page icon

In this article, you will find:

  • Giving kids guidelines
  • When you need to talk about it

Giving kids guidelines

Parenting: Developing a Unified Front

No two parents take exactly the same approach to running a household, hanging with the kids, resolving conflict, or granting privileges. That's okay. Kids easily accommodate to the differences in parenting styles and activities.

Words to Parent By

A parenting partner is any adult who shares parenting or child care responsibilities with you. It includes any adults who have direct involvement with, or influence on, your child's life.

Words to Parent By

A unified front is an agreed-upon approach to an issue. In disciplinary matters, it's best to at least have the appearance of total agreement. For instance, say you think dessert is to be eaten only after dinner, and your partner feels that anytime is the right time for chocolate. You might give in, for the sake of the unified front, but continue to negotiate privately.

Kids do, however, need to know what is expected of them. When your primary parenting partner is your child's other parent, the most important disciplinary issue is consistency. (Let's assume the two of you live together.) Consistency doesn't mean “sameness.” It's fine to apply values and beliefs differently, as long as there's a basic family understanding of what is important. Kids need clear, consistent guidelines, and they need a basic family commonality of valuesand beliefs.

Just on a purely pragmatic level, you and your partner need to establish some disciplinary guidelines: rules, limits, and consequences. Unless you're joined at the hips (I mean permanently!), you're not going to be able to check with each other about every little thing.

You and your partner are not Tweedledum and Tweedledee—you are separate individuals and, though you may share some values and ideas, there is likely much you don't agree about. This carries over to discipline. There will be times when the two of you just don't agree about an approach, a limit, a consequence, a response. How then, can you be consistent with your child about discipline?

Consistency can be planned for! Parenting and value differences are for you and your parenting partner to work out, privately. In “public,” in front of your kids, consistency is vital. If you're not consistent, your kids are going to play you off, one parent against another. You need to develop a unified front, that is, an agreed approach to the issues.

How do you develop a unified front? And how do you do it when you have different values or different approaches to parenting?

Developing a Unified Front

Working out your unified front may not require a “big” discussion, though it probably will be an ongoing process. If you've developed a family value statement and worked out family rules, then you're well on your way. Here are a few essentials about the unified front:

  • If you have a question about family policy, discuss it with your partner.
  • If your partner makes a snap decision, you need to support it. If you make a snap decision, your partner should support it. You can (and should) discuss your responses, beliefs, feelings, and suggestions for the future. But do it later, when the two of you are alone.
  • As much as possible, avoid having one person make unilateral decisions (especially if you tend to disagree).
Next: When you need to talk about it

What's hot

  • Eye color genetic chart Family LifeWhat Color Will My Baby'…
  • 10 Signs of Divorce Family Life10 Signs Your Marriage is Over
  • woman standing on scale Family LifeWhat's a Normal BMI for…
  • Young girl eating a oatmeal with berries after a workout Family LifeCalorie Intake for Weight…
NewslettersNewsletters
Your partner in parenting from baby name inspiration to college planning.
Family Education
FamilyEducation does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Information on our advertising guidelines can be found here.

FE Footer

  • Newsletter Center
  • About Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Editorial Policy
  • Editorial Team
  • Expert Panel
  • Cookie Policy
  • Site Map
  • Contact Us
  • Advertise
  • Terms of Use
  • Do Not Sell My Info (for CA Residents)
sandbox learning logo
Family Education is part of the Sandbox Learning family of educational reference sites for parents, teachers, and students. 

factmonster logoinfoplease logoTeacherVision logo

sandbbox logo
©2022 Sandbox Networks Inc. All rights reserved. Sandbox Learning is part of Sandbox & Co., a digital learning company.