Skip to main content
FamilyEducation
FamilyEducation
Family Education

FE-Menu

  • Pregnancy
    • <blank>
      • Pregnancy Tracker
      • Trying to Conceive
      • Signs & Symptoms
      • Pregnancy Health
    • <blank>
      • Baby Names
      • High Risk Pregnancies
      • Preparing for Baby
    • <blank>
      • Concerns & Complications
      • Labor & Delivery
      • Postpartum
  • Baby Names
    • <blank>
      • Browse All Baby Names (A-Z)
      • Top Names for Boys
      • Top Names for Girls
      • Baby Name Generator
    • <blank>
      • Baby Name Lists & Ideas
      • First Names By Origin
      • Browse All Last Names (A-Z)
      • Last Names by Origin
  • Babies
    • <blank>
      • Caring For Your Baby
      • Baby's Health
      • Feeding Your Baby
    • <blank>
      • Your Baby and Sleep
      • Baby's Growth & Development
      • Baby Hygiene
    • <blank>
      • Baby Safety
      • Baby Products
    • <blank>
  • Toddlers
    • <blank>
      • Toddler Growth and Development
    • <blank>
      • Toddler Behavior and Discipline
    • <blank>
      • Your Toddler and Sleep
  • Kids
    • <blank>
      • Health
      • Childhood Development
      • Fitness & Nutrition
      • Childhood Safety
    • <blank>
      • Communicating with Your Kids
      • Childhood Behavior and Discipline
      • Fostering Responsibility
      • Instilling Values & Manners
    • <blank>
      • Childcare
      • Neurodiversity in Kids
      • Adopting Children
  • Teens
    • <blank>
      • Teen Health
      • Teen Puberty & Sex
    • <blank>
      • Behavior & Discipline
      • Teen Social Development
    • <blank>
      • Values & Responsibilities
  • Activities
    • <blank>
      • Printables
      • Indoor Activities
      • Learning Activities
      • Arts and Crafts
      • Performing Arts
      • Food Activities
      • Outdoor Activities
    • <blank>
      • Books
      • TV
      • Movies
      • Online
      • Quizzes
      • Games
      • Celebrities
    • <blank>
      • Parties
      • Travel
      • Toys
      • Holidays
      • Gifts
  • Learning
    • <blank>
      • By Grade
      • By Subject
      • College
      • Preschool
    • <blank>
      • Back to School
      • Study Skills
      • Learning Styles
    • <blank>
      • Homeschooling
      • Parental Involvement
      • Your Child's School
  • Family Life
    • <blank>
      • Mom Life
      • Dad Life
      • Family Relationships
      • Having a Healthy Marriage
      • Divorce
    • <blank>
      • Health & Fitness
      • COVID Resources
      • Managing Your Home
      • Moving Your Family
      • Pets
    • <blank>
      • Family Finances
      • Work
      • Families and Food
  • NewslettersNewsletters
    Newsletters

Breadcrumb

  1. Home
  2. Family Life
  3. Family Relationships
  4. Parenting Issues
  5. Does Mom Always Have To Come To The Rescue?

Does Mom Always Have to Come to the Rescue?

Learn what you can do as a mother to help your daughters become independent, gracious women -- without your always coming to their aid.
  • facebook share icon
  • pin
  • twitter share icon
  • email share icon
  • Print page icon

Does Mom Always Have to Come to the Rescue?

Woman to Woman

Learning how to deal with stress or suffering the consequences of mistakes, romantic disasters, or workday problems will make your daughter stronger. It is best to allow children to begin accepting responsibility for their actions when they are young, says Dr. Thomas R. Linscheid. Doing so will better prepare them better for their adult years.

Moms have a tendency to need to rescue their daughters from perceived danger. As daughters get older, they have less of a need to be rescued. However, that doesn't stop moms from feeling the need to be in control, alleviate guilt for past mistakes, or act out of pure altruism.

Not only can this drive daughters right to the brink of insanity, but it also turns them into dependent women. And dependent women, according to Dr. Charney Herst, are sullen, angry, and hostile individuals toward their mother. Independent daughters are more gracious, helpful, and cooperative.

Mothers must learn that 1) they cannot solve their daughters' problems, nor do they have the right to, and 2) assuming the role of rescuer is a no-win situation and can turn their daughters into angry victims of their good intentions.

The No-Win Triangle of Rescuers

A succinct way to view the no-win dynamics of rescuers and victims is by applying the Karpman Drama Triangle. The rescuer mom in the end can do no right and is persecuted by the daughter for not doing enough or doing it wrong.

What's hot

  • Eye color genetic chart Family LifeWhat Color Will My Baby'…
  • 10 Signs of Divorce Family Life10 Signs Your Marriage is Over
  • woman standing on scale Family LifeWhat's a Normal BMI for…
  • Young girl eating a oatmeal with berries after a workout Family LifeCalorie Intake for Weight…
NewslettersNewsletters
Your partner in parenting from baby name inspiration to college planning.
Family Education
FamilyEducation does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Information on our advertising guidelines can be found here.

FE Footer

  • Newsletter Center
  • About Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Editorial Policy
  • Editorial Team
  • Expert Panel
  • Cookie Policy
  • Site Map
  • Contact Us
  • Advertise
  • Terms of Use
  • Do Not Sell My Info (for CA Residents)
sandbox learning logo
Family Education is part of the Sandbox Learning family of educational reference sites for parents, teachers, and students. 

factmonster logoinfoplease logoTeacherVision logo

sandbbox logo
©2022 Sandbox Networks Inc. All rights reserved. Sandbox Learning is part of Sandbox & Co., a digital learning company.