I am working diligently on getting him to pay attention at home. When he doesn't do something the first time, there is a consequence. When he gets behavioral notes, he doesn't go out to play. I've tried to lure him with a reward for having good days, but it's still the same. Is this teacher just hard to please?
Keep in mind that a child's behavior is expected to vary from one setting to another. Paying attention at school with 20 other children and one or two adults in a room is very different from paying attention at home with just Mom. It's understandable that your son may know his spelling words with you at home and then forget them at school.
Talk with the school counselor. She may be able to give your son some individual time or include him in a small group. The counselor may also be able to observe your son in the classroom and give you an objective opinion of what is going on there.
Ask your son's teacher for another conference and request that the counselor attend to help the two of you communicate in a positive way. Set up a plan with the teacher for daily communication about your son's behavior and follow-up from you at home. The plan should include stickers at school and extra bedtime stories or time just with you at home for positive behavior. The counselor can help you set up the specifics of the plan.