Will those same teachers who see your kids as bright kids and not problem kids be willing to "make their case" for them with the teachers who view them as insubordinates? Can you speak to a sympathetic guidance counselor (who might also hear from these sympathetic teachers) and use her to mediate and reframe the present situation? Can you appeal to your boys, without stripping them of their individuality, to attempt some alternative behaviors in school that will still allow them to be who they are?

I would also begin networking to discover which private schools might offer scholarships to your sons. Politically speaking, influential private school alumni and/or big contributors to the school can be very persuasive in these scholarship decisions if they found your sons to be appealing and worthy candidates. Good luck, Denise. Thanks for being such a caring advocate for your kids.