Unsure About Having Children? Expert Doctor Answers

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Some people feel uncertain about having children, and it’s not a dumb question to ask or worry about! Dr. Ana provides insights into navigating such an important decision.

Should I Have Kids If I’m Unsure?

Question: “I’m sure this sounds like a dumb question, but should I still have kids if I'm unsure? I tend to jump right into things without thinking because I'm so uncertain about everything in life generally. But I guess kids are much different than a new car loan or changing a major in uni.”

Dr. Ana’s Expert Answer

This is not a dumb question at all! I can assure you, you are not the only one who is unsure about whether having kids is the right thing to do.

This is a very personal question that, at the end of the day, only you can answer. Some people choose to go to a therapist to explore their feelings and thoughts about it. Let me know if this is something you would like to explore.

Why Having Kids Is a Life-Changing Decision

As you say, having a child is a much more important decision than choosing a car loan or changing a major. It is probably the most important decision you will make in your life because it changes your life forever.

Research on Parental Regret

There is some research exploring whether people regret having kids. As you can imagine, this is a difficult area to examine because parents are usually reluctant to admit that they regret having children. It is a feeling that usually brings shame, so people do not like to discuss it.

There was a study published in 2021 examining parents in the US and Europe, suggesting that around 8%-17% of parents regret having children. Another study examined people’s reasons for regretting having kids. The conclusion is that more than regretting having children, parents regretted the circumstances: the number of kids they had, the timing of having kids, or the sacrifices they had to make.

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I hope this helps! I wish you all the best.

Regards,

Ana

Dr. Ana Aznar

How Can I Decide If Having Kids Is Right For Me?

Deciding to have kids is personal and life-changing. Dr. Ana advises reflecting deeply on your readiness, possibly with the help of a therapist. Understanding your feelings and circumstances is key to making the right decision for you.

Do Parents Regret Having Children?

Research suggests 8%-17% of parents may regret having children, but this regret is often tied to circumstances like timing, sacrifices, or family size rather than the children themselves.

What Should I Do If I’m Struggling With This Decision?

Seeking therapy can help you explore your thoughts and feelings about having children, as this is one of life’s most important decisions. Dr. Ana suggests this as a helpful step for those feeling uncertain.

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Do you have any parenting questions for our parenting coach and expert, Dr. Ana Aznar? Ask for free today!