Dr. Ana Aznar
Table of contents
Struggling with depression as a new mother can feel isolating, but you are not alone; learn how to cope and find support for both you and your child.
How Can I Be a Better Mother While Dealing With Depression?
Question: “How can I be a better mother? I feel like I keep failing with my depression and feeling like I can't fully connect with my child (aged 1.5 years).”
Dr. Ana’s Expert Answer
Your question makes me very sad. Please do not feel like you are failing as a mother. Your depression makes it harder for you. It does not make you a bad mother. The fact that you are here asking for support, means that you are trying to do the best you can for your child.
I would love to know if you have received a depression diagnosis and if so if you are getting treated. Therapy and medication are usually the best course of action to treat depression.
If you think you are depressed but have not been diagnosed and are not being treated, please get in touch with me and we can arrange the support you need.
You Are Not Alone in This Struggle
You are not the only new mother struggling with depression. It is estimated that around 1 in 5 pregnant and new mothers experience mental health issues, such as depression. One reason for this is that a woman’s brain is incredibly vulnerable when they become a mother and this means we are more likely to develop mental health issues at this time. At the same time, the way we are raising kids these days: very lonely and intensive, does not support mothers’ mental health.
What Else Can You Do to Help Manage Depression?
So, what else can you do to help manage your depression better? Other than therapy and medication, there are a few things that can help:
- Have a clear routine: (e.g., having the same breakfast every day, going to bed at the same time every day…) gives structure to your days and reduces decision fatigue.
- Lower the bar: don’t strive for perfection. Only for good enough. You need to be a good enough mother. The perfect mother does not exist.
- Stay social: you may not feel like seeing friends or family but it is important for you and for your child to keep seeing people. Remember that we are inherently social animals and interacting with others is a source of happiness.
- Get outside: there is a lot of research showing how nature is good for our mental health. Try to spend time outdoors every single day. Sit in the sunlight or open a window for fresh air.
- Exercise everyday: you do not have to do high intensity training if you do not feel like it but simply going for a walk, will help you.
- Eat a healthy diet.
- Help others: there is plenty of research showing that helping others, make us feel better.
- Get help from others: If you have a friends or family around you, it is a good idea to tell them about what you are going through and ask them to help with your son on days that you are feeling particularly low.
I hope this information helps. Please do not go through this alone. If you need more support, get in touch with me and we will sort it out straight away. Remember it is very important you take care of yourself to be able to take care of your baby. I wish you the very best.
Related articles:
- Tips on Parenting with Depression?
- How Does Parental Mental Health Affect a Child?
- Matrescence: Are We Finally Understanding Motherhood?
Love,
Ana
How Can a Mother Cope With Depression?
Coping with maternal depression involves seeking professional treatment like therapy and medication, which are often the most effective actions. Additionally, establishing a daily routine, lowering personal expectations, staying socially connected, and spending time outdoors can provide structure and support. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and asking for help from friends and family are also crucial for managing symptoms.
Does Postpartum Depression Make You a Bad Mom?
No, having postpartum depression does not make you a bad mother. It is a medical condition that makes parenting more challenging. The fact that you are concerned about your connection with your child and are seeking support shows that you are a caring parent who is trying to do what is best for your child, even while facing significant personal struggles.
How Common Is Depression in New Mothers?
Depression in new mothers is quite common. It's estimated that about 1 in 5 pregnant and new mothers experience mental health challenges, including depression. This is partly because a mother's brain is more vulnerable during this period. The isolation and intensity of modern parenting can also negatively impact a mother’s mental health, contributing to these statistics.
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Do you have any parenting questions for our parenting coach and expert, Dr. Ana Aznar? Ask for free today!
