Post-Baby Relationship Struggles? Expert Doctor Answers

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Becoming a parent is one of life's biggest transitions, often putting unexpected stress on a marriage. Dr. Ana discusses why therapy is a valuable tool for new parents and how to navigate the situation if one partner is hesitant to attend.

Can Couples Therapy Help Relationships After the Newborn Stage?

Question: “What do you think about couples therapy? My husband and I are struggling after the newborn stage and it feels like something broke in our relationship when we went through all that stress and strain, but I don't want to give up. He doesn't want to try, says it's useless. But could it be helpful for us as new-ish parents and have a good impact on our 1 1/2-year-old daughter by proxy?”

Dr. Ana’s Expert Answer

Becoming a parent is a major life transition, and as such, it can strain a relationship. So, couples therapy may definitely be a good idea.

A therapist can help you work through whatever issues you are going through, and as you rightly say, this may be good for your daughter as well. Children can be negatively impacted when their parents struggle. When parents are struggling, they are more likely to feel stressed, and stress in general does not go well with parenting.

What to Expect in Couples Therapy Sessions

Couples therapy usually involves weekly or biweekly sessions and may include ‘homework’ between sessions to continue working. In most cases, the couple meet with the therapist, but individual sessions are often also part of the process. A good therapist will tell you at the beginning what the planned length of therapy is. Typically, at least 12 sessions or so will be required. During sessions, the therapist acts as a mediator, allowing open communication and supporting both partners to share their emotions and thoughts respectfully and freely.

Why a Partner Might Refuse Therapy

It is not uncommon for people to refuse to attend couples therapy or any type of therapy. Why? They may be worried about being blamed or judged, worried that it won’t work, worried that the therapist will take sides, or worried about what others may think.

Indicators That It Is Time for Professional Support

When is couples therapy a good idea? When there are:

Communication issues
Trust or infidelity concerns
Sexual or intimacy difficulties
Financial conflicts
Parenting challenges

Navigating Relationship Challenges Individually

If your husband refuses to go to therapy, it may still be a good idea for you to attend alone. The therapist will give you insights to navigate your relationship challenges and to navigate your own challenges. Do not forget that becoming a mother is a massive change for any woman that should not be underestimated.

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I wish you all the best.

Ana

Dr Ana Aznar

How Does Parental Relationship Stress Affect a Toddler?

Children are highly sensitive to the emotional climate of the home. When parents struggle with unresolved conflict, they often experience higher stress levels, which can hinder their ability to be present and responsive. By seeking therapy, parents can improve their communication and emotional regulation, creating a more stable, nurturing environment that benefits their child’s development and long-term well-being.

What Should I Do If My Husband Refuses Couples Therapy?

It is common for partners to feel defensive or skeptical about therapy. If your husband refuses to attend, consider starting individual therapy. This allows you to process the massive transition of motherhood and gain expert insights into navigating relationship hurdles. Often, when one partner makes positive changes through individual work, it can shift the dynamic of the entire relationship.

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Do you have any parenting questions for our parenting coach and expert, Dr. Ana Aznar? Ask for free today!