Calmly explain what you found and ask him to tell you what happened in your bedroom. I'd also have a discussion with him about his sexual activity with his girlfriend. It will be difficult to hold back your anger. You son has made some serious mistakes in judgment and has shaken your trust in him. Let him know these feelings and your profound disappointment in his actions. Allow him to redeem himself with honesty, remorse, and a heartfelt promise to behave with more integrity. Ask yourselves, "What do we want most to come out of this talk with our son?" When you have your answer to that question, you will know how best to proceed.
Carleton Kendrick has been in private practice as a family therapist and has worked as a consultant for more than 20 years. He has conducted parenting seminars on topics ranging from how to discipline toddlers to how to stay connected with teenagers. Kendrick has appeared as an expert on national broadcast media such as CBS, Fox Television Network, Cable News Network, CNBC, PBS, and National Public Radio. In addition, he's been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, USA Today, Reader's Digest, BusinessWeek, Good Housekeeping, Woman's Day, and many other publications.
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