A book that will help you understand and head off tantrums, talk to your child about them, and reduce their frequency and duration is Kathy Levinson's " First Aid For Tantrums" (Saturn Press). There is also good advice about periodic rages in Patricia Henderson Shimm's "Parenting Your Toddler" (Addison Wesley). I know that after consulting these resources you will be far better equipped to understand the reasons why he is behaving like this and to cope with these tantrums. Thankfully they do pass as the child moves through this developmental struggle for independence and control.
Three-Year-Old's Temper Tantrums
Carleton Kendrick has been in private practice as a family therapist and has worked as a consultant for more than 20 years. He has conducted parenting seminars on topics ranging from how to discipline toddlers to how to stay connected with teenagers. Kendrick has appeared as an expert on national broadcast media such as CBS, Fox Television Network, Cable News Network, CNBC, PBS, and National Public Radio. In addition, he's been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, USA Today, Reader's Digest, BusinessWeek, Good Housekeeping, Woman's Day, and many other publications.
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