Dilantin used throughout pregnancy is associated with adverse congenital effects, including poor growth beginning prenatally, mild to moderate mental deficiency, depressed nasal bridge, short forward-positioned nose, bowed upper lip, cleft lip with or without cleft palate, heart defects, and poor nail development. Multiple behavioral effects including locomotor and learning and memory deficits have reportedly been produced by Dilantin in some studies.
You have not provided any detailed information about the boys' physical characteristics or their development to date. Genetic factors may also play a role. Under the present circumstances, I would suggest a consultation with a geneticist who is in the best position to provide you with the education and support you need for the boys and their birthmom.