Skip to main content
FamilyEducation
FamilyEducation
Family Education

FE-Menu

  • Pregnancy
    • <blank>
      • Pregnancy Tracker
      • Trying to Conceive
      • Signs & Symptoms
      • Pregnancy Health
    • <blank>
      • Baby Names
      • High Risk Pregnancies
      • Preparing for Baby
    • <blank>
      • Concerns & Complications
      • Labor & Delivery
      • Postpartum
  • Baby Names
    • <blank>
      • Browse All Baby Names (A-Z)
      • Top Names for Boys
      • Top Names for Girls
      • Baby Name Generator
    • <blank>
      • Baby Name Lists & Ideas
      • First Names By Origin
      • Browse All Last Names (A-Z)
      • Last Names by Origin
  • Babies
    • <blank>
      • Caring For Your Baby
      • Baby's Health
      • Feeding Your Baby
    • <blank>
      • Your Baby and Sleep
      • Baby's Growth & Development
      • Baby Hygiene
    • <blank>
      • Baby Safety
      • Baby Products
    • <blank>
  • Toddlers
    • <blank>
      • Toddler Growth and Development
    • <blank>
      • Toddler Behavior and Discipline
    • <blank>
      • Your Toddler and Sleep
  • Kids
    • <blank>
      • Health
      • Childhood Development
      • Fitness & Nutrition
      • Childhood Safety
    • <blank>
      • Communicating with Your Kids
      • Childhood Behavior and Discipline
      • Fostering Responsibility
      • Instilling Values & Manners
    • <blank>
      • Childcare
      • Neurodiversity in Kids
      • Adopting Children
  • Teens
    • <blank>
      • Teen Health
      • Teen Puberty & Sex
    • <blank>
      • Behavior & Discipline
      • Teen Social Development
    • <blank>
      • Values & Responsibilities
  • Activities
    • <blank>
      • Printables
      • Indoor Activities
      • Learning Activities
      • Arts and Crafts
      • Performing Arts
      • Food Activities
      • Outdoor Activities
    • <blank>
      • Books
      • TV
      • Movies
      • Online
      • Quizzes
      • Games
      • Celebrities
    • <blank>
      • Parties
      • Travel
      • Toys
      • Holidays
      • Gifts
  • Learning
    • <blank>
      • By Grade
      • By Subject
      • College
      • Preschool
    • <blank>
      • Back to School
      • Study Skills
      • Learning Styles
    • <blank>
      • Homeschooling
      • Parental Involvement
      • Your Child's School
  • Family Life
    • <blank>
      • Mom Life
      • Dad Life
      • Family Relationships
      • Having a Healthy Marriage
      • Divorce
    • <blank>
      • Health & Fitness
      • COVID Resources
      • Managing Your Home
      • Moving Your Family
      • Pets
    • <blank>
      • Family Finances
      • Work
      • Families and Food
  • NewslettersNewsletters
    Newsletters

Breadcrumb

  1. Home
  2. Family Life
  3. Divorce
  4. How To Deal With The "Evil" Ex

How to Deal with the "Evil" Ex

Read tips on dealing with "evil" ex-spouses -- without involving the children.
  • facebook share icon
  • pin
  • twitter share icon
  • email share icon
  • Print page icon

In this article, you will find:

  • Page 1
  • Page 2

Page 1

How to Deal with the "Evil" Ex

The ideal working relationship is not always easily achieved. You may find yourselves frequently fighting about the ex(es). It may be that you and your partner have moved further along emotionally than the ex (and on some issues the ex may have something to teach you).

Intrusive Exes

Sometimes the ex is too much of a fixture in your life. If this feels like a problem to either you or your partner, look closely at what is going on. It may be that your Love or the ex is still not “over” the relationship. Insist that they separate. If your partner is having trouble with this, get help. A couple of sessions with a counselor may make a big difference. You are not number two just because your love and commitment came after the ex-partner's love and commitment.

It may be that you, too, are having a hard time with your own ex, if you have one. Divorcing couples go through three stages: holding on, letting go, and starting over. The ex-partners usually reach these stages at different times. That means that though you or your new partner may be way over it, your Ex may not be. Many people feel it would be easier to let go and start over if each ex didn't have to see the other. With kids, this isn't always possible—or desirable. Eek! Life is complex.

Stepping Stones

Even when the ex has died, your partner will need to complete the separation process of holding on, letting go, and starting over to fully finish the relationship.

Marie, Steve's ex, lived just a few blocks from Steve and Brenda. Miranda, Marie and Steve's daughter, shared her time between the two households. Marie was alone, and more often, Brenda would find her voice on the answering machine, asking Steve for his help with a household calamity or wanting to discuss Miranda's science homework. Steve spent a lot of time helping Marie out, and Brenda seethed.

After Miranda's birthday (where Marie joined them at a local restaurant and spent the evening reminiscing with Steve about old friends, people Brenda had never met), Brenda was so furious she put her foot down—and almost put her fist through the wall. She told Steve she felt like the “other” wife. Steve confessed that he was having a hard time saying “no” to Marie—after all, she was still alone.

Brenda and Steve needed a few sessions with a therapist before he was able to assert himself with Marie. The interesting thing is that once he stopped paying so much attention to her, Marie seemed to stop being so needy.

Next: Page 2

What's hot

  • Eye color genetic chart Family LifeWhat Color Will My Baby'…
  • 10 Signs of Divorce Family Life10 Signs Your Marriage is Over
  • woman standing on scale Family LifeWhat's a Normal BMI for…
  • Young girl eating a oatmeal with berries after a workout Family LifeCalorie Intake for Weight…
NewslettersNewsletters
Your partner in parenting from baby name inspiration to college planning.
Family Education
FamilyEducation does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Information on our advertising guidelines can be found here.

FE Footer

  • Newsletter Center
  • About Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Editorial Policy
  • Editorial Team
  • Expert Panel
  • Cookie Policy
  • Site Map
  • Contact Us
  • Advertise
  • Terms of Use
  • Do Not Sell My Info (for CA Residents)
sandbox learning logo
Family Education is part of the Sandbox Learning family of educational reference sites for parents, teachers, and students. 

factmonster logoinfoplease logoTeacherVision logo

sandbbox logo
©2022 Sandbox Networks Inc. All rights reserved. Sandbox Learning is part of Sandbox & Co., a digital learning company.