For parents

Find out what expert Dr. Ana Aznar says about positive reinforcement, motivation, and effective parenting strategies in this Ask Dr. Ana Q&A.

Which Parenting Style Rewards Children for Following the Rules?

Question: “What parenting style encourages children to follow the rules through rewards and guidance?”

Question:

Do you have an opinion on the Baumrind parenting styles? Are they outdated in parenting circles now, or are they still legit? I'm a new uncle to a little nephew, and have been doing research so I can help my brother and sister-in-law out, so I am curious. 

Dr. Ana’s Answer:

Congratulations on your nephew and how lucky he is to have such an involved uncle. The Baumrid parenting styles are not outdated. As you may know, Baumrid quoted four main parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and neglectful.  

Question:

Why do kids bite themselves? My nanny told me about my two toddlers biting themselves. I don't understand why it would happen. 

Dr. Ana’s Answer:

This is not an uncommon behaviour. Toddlers do not have the verbal ability to explain what they are feeling, or what they want. Sometimes the only way to express it is by biting themselves, or biting or hitting others.  

Question:

I think I have a defiant 3-year-old. It's so much more than pushing boundaries or testing them or whatever our pediatrician says. It feels like he hates us for just existing. 

Dr. Ana’s Answer:

I am sorry you are feeling this way.  

Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is a type of disruptive behaviour disorder that involves difficulties managing emotions and behaviours. Symptoms begin before the age of 8 and almost always before the early teen years.  

Question:

Do you know how to stop a child from screaming for no reason? My wife and I are at our wits' end with him. 

Dr. Ana’s Answer:

I don’t know the age of your child but the best advice I can give you is to ignore the screaming. If every time he screams your wife and you reward it by paying attention to him, giving him what he wants, or even making a fuss about it, you are rewarding the behaviour. Behaviours that are rewarded will be repeated.  

Question:

Tips on toddler aggression, when to worry? He's hitting, biting, screaming, etc., but I did read online that some toddlers go through this and just grow out of it. But when should I be scared it's more than that? 

Question:

How to handle tantrums? I've got triplets and they are losing it on a daily basis multiple times a day. They're 4 years old and shriek like banshees! Any tips would be incredible, thanks.

Dr. Ana’s Answer:

Triplets! You definitely have your hands full. It cannot be easy managing the three of them!  

Question:

What are your thoughts on anxiety medication for teens? My 15-year-old daughter gets shaky and anxious before school some mornings, but I don't know if meds are the way to go or not. 

Question:

Is teenage depression just a school-age fad these days? It seems like my granddaughter has everything she could ever want—makeup, movie subscriptions, the iPad, a phone, so many clothes, etc.—but she's still saying she's depressed.

Question:

Can you have depression without being sad? My son keeps saying he's depressed but doesn't act sad. He's 16 so maybe it's more of a trend than anything 

Dr. Ana’s Answer:

Teenagers get depressed. It is not a trend. Your son could be depressed without acting sad. Depression looks different for everyone. Some people feel empty or worthless rather than sad.