Parenting Style That Rewards Rules? Expert Doctor Answers

Table of contents

Find out what expert Dr. Ana Aznar says about positive reinforcement, motivation, and effective parenting strategies in this Ask Dr. Ana Q&A.

Which Parenting Style Rewards Children for Following the Rules?

Question: “What parenting style encourages children to follow the rules through rewards and guidance?”

Dr. Ana’s Expert Answer

Authoritative parenting is the parenting style that is more likely to reward children for following the rules. Authoritative parenting is considered the gold standard of parenting. Authoritative parents are warm, caring, and establish clear limits for their children. Children understand those limits and rules and what the consequences are when they break them. Parents take into consideration their children’s opinions and feelings but ultimately, they are the ones who make the decisions.

There are hundreds of studies showing that children whose parents are authoritative, tend to do better in life. These children tend to be well adjusted, get on well with their peers and friends, do well in school and have high self-esteem. Children feel safe and secure because their parents are consistent and establish clear routines.

The Role of Rewards and Motivation

The issue of rewarding children for good behaviour is somewhat controversial. Some people say that rewarding them is not a good idea because it promotes extrinsic and not intrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation is doing an activity because of the satisfaction it brings you, rather than for an external reward. For example, reading a book because you are interested in its story, or learning to ride a bike because of the sense of achievement.  

In contrast, extrinsic motivation is pursuing an activity for an external reward, such as a material item or someone’s praise. For example, sharing with friends in exchange for more screen time or sweets. Ideally, we want our children to be intrinsically motivated.

The Power of Praise

A good way to reward children for good behaviour is using praise. As parents very often, we ignore good behaviour and we only focus on negative behavior. Children love their parents to be happy with them, so the more you let them know that you like what they are doing, the more likely they are to repeat it. When you praise them, be specific. Rather than saying: “You are such a good boy”, say “Look how well you are sharing with your sister, well done!”. This way they know exactly what they are doing right and are more likely to repeat it.

So, praise your child when they do things right. Try to be an authoritative parent as often as you can.

Here are some other articles that you may find useful:

I hope this information helps. I wish you and your family all the very best,

Love,
Ana
Dr Ana Aznar

What Parenting Style Is Considered Best for Encouraging Rule-Following?

Authoritative parenting consistently stands out for its balance of warmth, communication, and clear boundaries. This approach not only encourages rule-following but also supports emotional security and independence in children.

Are Rewards Effective for Teaching Good Behavior?

Rewards, especially specific praise, can strengthen positive behaviors when used thoughtfully. Dr. Ana advises focusing on encouragement and clear feedback rather than relying solely on external incentives, which can sometimes undermine intrinsic motivation.

How Can Parents Move Toward Authoritative Parenting?

Parents can build authoritative skills by setting consistent routines, involving their children in discussions about rules, and reinforcing positive behaviors with warmth, encouragement, and clear communication.

Should Parents Worry About Encouraging Extrinsic Motivation?

While using praise and small rewards can help reinforce good habits, it’s important to nurture your child’s internal motivation by helping them find satisfaction in their achievements and efforts. This balanced approach leads to more resilient, self-motivated children.

Do you have questions for Dr. Ana? Ask for free today!

Related content: