Dr. Ana Aznar
Table of contents
In our Ask Dr Ana series, Dr. Ana Aznar answers real questions from parents with practical, evidence-based advice. Dr. Ana Aznar is the founder of REC Parenting and a psychologist who specialises in parenting, family relationships, and children's socioemotional development.
Parent's Question
"We're moving in a few weeks and I'm honestly worried sick about how my child is going to handle starting over at a new school. Any advice on making this transition easier and helping them find their people?"
Dr Ana's Answer
It is completely normal to worry about how your child will cope with a move.
Moving can be difficult for most children. They are often leaving behind familiar places, routines, teachers, and friendships. While parents are usually focused on the practical side of moving, children are often focused on what they are losing.
One of the most important things to remember is this:
Your child needs to leave well in order to enter well.
Helping them process the move properly before it happens can make settling into their new home and school much easier.
How to Leave Well
Explain the Move Early
Tell your child about the move as soon as possible and explain the reasons behind it.
Even if they do not agree with the decision, involving them in the conversation can help them feel included rather than powerless.
Children often cope better with change when they understand what is happening and why.
Involve Them in Decisions
Moving can leave children feeling as though they have lost control over their lives.
Where possible, let them participate in decisions such as:
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Choosing aspects of their new bedroom
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Looking at potential schools
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Exploring the new area
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Selecting decorations or furniture
The decisions may seem small, but they can help children regain a sense of control during a time of significant change.
Make Space for Grief
Many parents want to reassure their child quickly and focus on the positives.
However, it is important not to dismiss their sadness.
Your child may be grieving the loss of friends, familiar routines, or a place they loved. These feelings are completely normal.
Grief is not a problem to solve. It is a healthy response to loss and change.
Allow your child to talk about what they will miss and acknowledge their feelings without trying to immediately fix them.
Be Honest
Try not to make promises you cannot keep.
For example, if regular visits with old friends are unlikely, avoid giving false reassurance.
Children cope best when they trust the information they are being given.
Honesty helps them prepare emotionally for the transition.
Create a Proper Goodbye
If possible, organise a goodbye gathering with friends, classmates, neighbours, or family members.
Having an opportunity to say goodbye can help children gain a sense of closure and make the transition feel more manageable.
How to Enter Well
Once your child has had a chance to process leaving, it is time to focus on helping them settle into their new environment.
Arrive Before School Starts
If possible, move before the first day of school.
Use this time to:
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Settle into the house
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Explore the neighbourhood
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Locate key places
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Practise the journey to school
Familiarity can help reduce anxiety when school begins.
Arrange Early Friendships
If you have the opportunity, try to organise playdates or meetups with future classmates before school starts.
Seeing familiar faces on the first day can make a significant difference to a child's confidence and comfort levels.
Help Them Fit In
The first few days at a new school can feel overwhelming.
Simple details can sometimes matter more than we realise.
Make sure your child has the correct uniform, equipment, and supplies. If possible, learn about any unspoken expectations around clothing, school bags, shoes, or materials.
The more comfortable your child feels, the easier it can be to focus on making friends and settling in.
As a child myself, I still remember arriving at a new school with the correct uniform but the wrong coloured socks. I was mortified.
Small details can feel very important to children.
Keep Family Traditions
When everything else changes, familiar routines become even more important.
Continue the traditions and routines that help your child feel secure.
For example:
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Friday movie nights
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Weekend family breakfasts
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Bedtime routines
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Birthday traditions
Your location may have changed, but your family remains the same.
These familiar rituals help create a sense of stability during periods of uncertainty.
Why Routine Matters During Big Changes
Children thrive on predictability.
During major life transitions, familiar routines provide reassurance and emotional security.
When home feels consistent, children often find it easier to adapt to changes happening outside the home.
Dr Ana Aznar's Parenting Expertise
Dr. Ana Aznar has a BA in Psychology from The Open University, UK, an MSc in Applied Child Psychology from Kingston University, UK, and a PhD in Developmental Psychology from Kingston University, UK. She conducts research on parenting, family relationships, and children's socioemotional development.
Moving School FAQs
How can I help my child settle into a new school?
Prepare them for the move, involve them in decisions, maintain routines, encourage friendships, and give them space to talk about their feelings.
Is it normal for children to struggle after moving?
Yes. Moving is a major life change and many children need time to adjust emotionally, socially, and academically.
Should I encourage my child to stay in touch with old friends?
Yes, where practical. Maintaining existing friendships can provide comfort and continuity during the transition.
How can my child make friends at a new school?
Playdates, clubs, extracurricular activities, and opportunities to meet classmates before school starts can all help.
What if my child is upset about moving?
Acknowledge their feelings rather than dismissing them. Sadness, frustration, and grief are normal responses to significant change and should be treated with understanding and patience.
Do you have any parenting questions for our parenting coach and expert, Dr. Ana Aznar? Ask for free today!
