Dr. Ana Aznar
Table of contents
In our Ask Dr Ana series, Dr. Ana Aznar answers real questions from parents with practical, evidence-based advice. Dr. Ana Aznar is the founder of REC Parenting and a psychologist who specializes in parenting, family relationships, and children’s socioemotional development. Parents can also submit their own questions for free expert parenting advice.
Parent’s question
“We just moved and my son is enrolled in a new school. He had trouble making friends and settling in at the old school, and now I’m worried about this new move. How should I help my son transition to a new school? He’s 11. TY!”
Dr Ana’s answer
Most children struggle when they move to a new school. It is not an easy feat, especially when they are tweens and teens.
Here are a few ideas that might help:
-
Encourage him to join any team activities he may like: football, basketball, a debate club, Model UN, chess club. Any activity that involves other children is a good idea because it allows him to get to know them in a controlled environment.
-
If he gets anxious when having to talk to other children, practise role-play with him. You can take the role of a kid at school and he can be himself. Having a sort of script about what to say when other children ask him where he comes from or why he has moved may give him a sense of security.
-
Let him stay in touch with his old friends. Having a sense of continuity will probably be good for him.
-
Keep your old routines and traditions. At times of change, children need routine and stability more than ever.
How parents can help a child settle into a new school
Moving school can be difficult, especially at 11. Children at this age are often more aware of friendship groups, social status, and whether they fit in.
If your son struggled to make friends before, it makes sense that you feel worried. But a new school can also be a fresh start, especially with the right support.
One of the best things you can do is keep home life predictable. Familiar routines can help children feel safe when everything else feels new.
Try to keep:
-
Regular mealtimes
-
A consistent bedtime
-
Familiar family routines
-
Weekend traditions
-
Time to relax after school
Structured activities can also make friendships easier. Clubs and teams give children something shared to focus on, which can feel less intimidating than starting conversations from nowhere.
If your son feels nervous about talking to other children, role-play can help. Practise simple answers to common questions, such as where he moved from or what he likes doing.
It can also help to let him stay in touch with old friends. This gives him continuity and reminds him that he is capable of friendship.
Try not to ask every day, “Have you made friends yet?” That can add pressure. Instead, ask gentler questions like, “Who did you sit near today?” or “What was one okay moment?”
If he continues to struggle, speak to the school. They may be able to suggest a buddy, club, or teacher check-in to help him settle.
Dr Ana Aznar’s parenting expertise
Dr. Ana Aznar has a BA in Psychology from The Open University, UK, an MSc in Applied Child Psychology from Kingston University, UK, and a PhD in Developmental Psychology from Kingston University, UK. She conducts research on parenting, family relations, and children’s socioemotional development.
New school transition FAQs
How can I help my child transition to a new school?
Keep routines stable, encourage clubs or group activities, practise social conversations, and stay in contact with the school.
How long does it take a child to settle into a new school?
It depends on the child. Some settle within weeks, while others need several months. A slower adjustment can be normal.
What if my child has trouble making friends?
Encourage structured activities where friendships can grow naturally. You can also ask the school whether they can help with a buddy system or lunchtime support.
Should my child stay in touch with old friends?
Yes. Staying connected to old friends can provide comfort and continuity while your child builds new friendships.
Do you have any parenting questions for our parenting coach and expert, Dr. Ana Aznar? Ask for free today!
