Dr. Ana Aznar
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Join us as Dr. Ana answers how to handle tantrums in 5-year-olds, explaining why they happen and offering practical strategies to manage and prevent them.
How To Handle 5-Year-Old Tantrums
Question: "Do you have advice on how to deal with tantrums in 5-year-olds? He's been in just a foul mood for the last few months."
Dr. Ana’s Expert Answer
Tantrums are less common after age 3, but they still may happen at age 5. However, if you are worried, talk to your doctor.
Tantrums are brief episodes of extreme and sometimes aggressive behaviours in response to frustration or anger. They usually include crying, hitting, throwing items, biting, pushing, going limp, and breath-holding. Tantrums happen because of hunger, tiredness, illness, and frustration. Therefore, prevention is the best way to avoid them.
They happen because it may still be difficult for your child to control his emotions. As your child grows and they learn to put their feelings into words, the frequency, length, and severity of the tantrums decrease (don’t despair! -There is light at the end of the tunnel). In this article, I give you a few guidelines to help develop your child’s emotional competence.
What To Do When a Tantrum Starts
If you do not manage to prevent them, there is not much you can do once the tantrum starts. The best thing to do is to wait it out. Make sure your child is safe (they sometimes bang their heads against the wall or the floor), stay close, but don’t do anything. Once they finish, wipe their tears and redirect their attention to another activity.
The acronym R.I.D.D. can help you handle tantrums (easier said than done, we know):
- Remain calm
- Ignore the tantrum
- Distract the child as soon as it is over
- Do make sure your child is safe, but don’t give in to demands.
Why You Shouldn't Give In
Do not give in. If you give in to the tantrum, you are reinforcing the behaviou,r and your child will know that if he throws a tantrum, he will get what he wants. We know it may be painful to watch, but the best thing for your child is for you to wait until he is done.
Managing Parental Stress During Tantrums
Tantrums and meltdowns can really push you to the limit. Try to remain as calm as you can. If you think you are going to lose it, make sure your child is safe and leave the room for a few seconds to calm yourself down. Another useful technique is to ring a friend and have a chat to distract yourself while making sure your child is safe. Or ask a neighbour to come in. And remember, this phase won’t last forever even if sometimes it feels like it.
Recommended Resources
You may find these articles useful:
- When Do Child Tantrums Stop?
- Fostering Emotional Intelligence in Children: A Guide for Parents
- Why Is My 4-Year-Old So Mean?
I wish you both all the very best.
Love,
Ana
What Causes Tantrums In 5-Year-Olds?
Tantrums in 5-year-olds are often triggered by frustration, anger, hunger, tiredness, or illness. While less common than in toddlers, they can still occur because a child may struggle to control emotions and articulate feelings verbally. These episodes, involving crying, hitting, or breath-holding, are a way for children to express overwhelming feelings when they lack the emotional tools to do so effectively.
Is It Normal For A 5-Year-Old To Still Have Tantrums?
Yes, it can be normal for a 5-year-old to still experience tantrums, although they typically decrease in frequency and intensity after age 3. These outbursts often stem from an inability to fully control emotions or articulate strong feelings. As children develop better verbal and emotional regulation skills, tantrums usually become less common. If you have concerns about the severity or persistence of tantrums, consult your doctor.
How Do You Handle A Tantrum Once It Starts?
Once a tantrum begins, the best approach is to wait it out. Ensure your child's safety by staying close, especially if they are hitting their head, but avoid engaging or giving in to demands. The R.I.D.D. method suggests Remaining calm, Ignoring the tantrum (while ensuring safety), and Distracting the child as soon as it's over. Giving in reinforces the behavior, so consistency is key.
When Should You Be Concerned About 5-Year-Old Tantrums?
While occasional tantrums are normal, you should talk to your doctor if you are worried about their frequency, severity, or if they seem to be increasing. Concerns might arise if tantrums are aggressive, involve self-harm, last a very long time, or are accompanied by other developmental or behavioral issues. Your doctor can help determine if there are underlying factors or offer further guidance.
For more information, check out these popular topics:
- What If My 5-Year-Old Won’t Listen In Kindergarten?
- How Do I Handle Food Aggression in My Toddler?
- How Do I Help My Daughter Deal With Criticism from Her Grandma?
Do you have any parenting questions for our parenting coach and expert, Dr. Ana Aznar? Ask for free today!
