Ask Dr Ana: What Chores Should a 10 and 12-Year-Old Be Doing?

In our Ask Dr Ana series, Dr. Ana Aznar answers real questions from parents with practical, evidence-based advice. Dr. Ana Aznar is the founder of REC Parenting and a psychologist who specialises in parenting, family relationships, and children's socioemotional development.

Parent's Question

"I know my kids should be doing more around the house (they're 10 and 12 now) but I'm genuinely not sure what's fair to expect. What are other kids their age doing? I don't want to overload them, but I also want them to learn responsibility."

Dr Ana's Answer

Children should do chores.

In fact, many studies have found that children who regularly contribute to household responsibilities from a young age tend to be better adjusted later in life.

Interestingly, it is not the actual task itself that provides the biggest benefit. It is what children learn through doing those tasks.

When children contribute to the home, they develop important life skills and attitudes that can help them well beyond childhood.

What Do Children Learn From Chores?

Chores help children develop:

• Responsibility

• Self-efficacy and confidence

• Executive function skills, such as planning, time management, and flexibility

• Empathy

• Prosocial behaviour

• A sense of belonging

• An understanding of how families and communities work

• The idea that everyone contributes and helps one another

When children regularly participate in family life, they begin to see themselves as valued members of a team rather than passive recipients of care.

The Two Types of Chores Children Should Do

There are generally two categories of chores.

Personal Chores

These are tasks children do to take responsibility for themselves and their own belongings.

Examples include:

• Making their bed

• Tidying their bedroom

• Putting away toys and personal items

• Organising school materials

• Preparing their school bag

• Keeping track of homework and personal belongings

These tasks help children build independence and self-management skills.

Family-Contributing Chores

These are tasks that help the household as a whole.

Examples include:

• Setting the table

• Helping with laundry

• Emptying the dishwasher

• Feeding pets

• Helping prepare meals

• Clearing the table after dinner

• Taking out bins or recycling

• Helping with basic household organisation

Research suggests that these family-contributing chores may offer the greatest developmental benefits because they teach children that they are part of a wider community and that their efforts help other people.

What Should a 10 and 12-Year-Old Be Doing?

At ages 10 and 12, most children are capable of managing many personal chores independently.

They should also be making meaningful contributions to family life through age-appropriate household tasks.

Exactly which chores they do will depend on your family's circumstances, schedule, and needs.

The goal is not to create a long list of responsibilities. The goal is to help children learn that everyone contributes to keeping a household running.

Consistency matters more than the specific chore itself.

Should Children Be Paid for Chores?

In general, everyday chores should not be paid.

The purpose of chores is not to earn money. The purpose is to learn responsibility, cooperation, and contribution.

Children are part of the family, and contributing to family life is something everyone does.

That said, some families choose to pay for additional tasks that go beyond normal expectations.

For example:

• Washing the car

• Helping with a larger household project

• Completing extra jobs outside their usual responsibilities

This can provide opportunities to learn about earning and managing money without turning everyday family responsibilities into paid work.

Why Chores Help Children Thrive

Many parents worry about asking too much of their children.

In reality, giving children age-appropriate responsibilities is often a sign of confidence in their abilities.

Children benefit when they feel trusted, capable, and needed.

When chores are approached as a normal part of family life rather than a punishment, they can help children build skills, confidence, and a stronger sense of belonging.

Dr Ana Aznar's Parenting Expertise

Dr. Ana Aznar has a BA in Psychology from The Open University, UK, an MSc in Applied Child Psychology from Kingston University, UK, and a PhD in Developmental Psychology from Kingston University, UK. She conducts research on parenting, family relationships, and children's socioemotional development.

Chores for Children FAQs

What chores should a 10-year-old do?

Most 10-year-olds can make their bed, organise their belongings, help with laundry, set the table, clear dishes, and assist with simple meal preparation.

What chores should a 12-year-old do?

Most 12-year-olds can take on greater responsibility, including managing personal organisation, helping prepare meals, emptying the dishwasher, taking out rubbish, and completing regular household tasks independently.

Should children be paid for chores?

Many experts recommend that everyday household chores are not paid because they are part of contributing to family life. Extra tasks beyond normal responsibilities may be treated differently.

Why are chores important for children?

Chores help children develop responsibility, confidence, time management skills, empathy, and a sense of belonging within the family.

What if my child refuses to do chores?

Start with clear expectations, age-appropriate responsibilities, and consistency. Children are more likely to cooperate when chores are presented as a normal part of family life rather than a punishment.

Do you have any parenting questions for our parenting coach and expert, Dr. Ana Aznar? Ask for free today!