Dr. Ana Aznar
Table of contents
Discover how to support your son through anxiety with Dr. Ana's expert advice on recognizing symptoms, developing coping strategies, and fostering open communication.
Helping a 16-Year-Old Son With Anxiety
Question: "How can I help my 16-year-old son with anxiety?"
Dr. Ana’s Expert Answer
It is important that you understand your son’s anxiety. It is absolutely normal for him to feel anxious when he faces challenging situations, like an exam or meeting new people. In those cases, anxiety is an adaptive emotion because it fits the situation he is facing. Anxiety becomes a problem (and ultimately a disorder) if he feels anxious for six months or more or if his anxiety is so intense that it disrupts his daily functioning. If this is the case, it may be a good idea for him to see a psychologist specializing in anxiety in teenagers.
Talking About Anxiety and Recognizing Symptoms
Talk with him about his anxiety: Ask him how it feels in his mind and his body, and discuss what makes him feel anxious (an exam, speaking in public, meeting new people…). Next, help him to recognize when he is anxious (e.g., his hands feel clammy, his heart races, his breathing becomes shallow…).
Developing Relaxation Techniques
The next step is to come up with relaxing techniques that he can use whenever he recognizes those anxiety signs. These techniques can be: breathing deeply 10 times, counting to 10, visualizing a place or a person that makes him happy, or splashing very cold water on his face or wrists. The idea is that whenever he feels the anxiety coming, he will use one of these tools. He should use the one that works best for him. As you can tell, the goal is not to eliminate anxiety but to help him manage it.
Addressing Avoidance Behaviors
Very often, when teenagers get anxious, they avoid the situations that make them anxious. So, for example, they avoid going to a birthday party or sitting an exam. At the beginning, this is a great short-term solution, but long-term avoidance makes anxiety worse because never confronting the situation makes it even scarier. If this is the case with your son, help him take baby steps to confront the situation he feels anxious about. The message you should give him is that every time he confronts the situation that makes him anxious, the anxiety will get milder and milder.
Validating and Supporting His Feelings
Finally, it is important that you validate your son’s anxiety and you make him feel safe and heard, but do not amplify it. Your message should be: “I know you are anxious and that is OK, and I am here to help you get through this”.
Further Reading
Have a look at these articles as well:
- What Are Your Thoughts on Medication for Teens?
- How to Help a Child with Anxiety
- How to Face the Exam Season: When Anxiety Runs High
I hope this information helps. Do get in touch with me if you want to discuss it further.
I wish you and your son all the very best.
Love,
Ana
What Is The Difference Between Normal Anxiety And An Anxiety Disorder In Teens?
Normal anxiety is a natural response to challenging situations like exams or meeting new people, serving an adaptive purpose. An anxiety disorder, however, involves intense anxiety lasting six months or more, significantly disrupting daily life. If your teen experiences this, consulting a specialized psychologist is recommended for proper assessment and support.
How Can Parents Help Teens Identify Their Anxiety Triggers?
Encourage open conversations with your teen about their anxiety. Ask them to describe how anxiety feels physically and mentally, and discuss specific situations that make them anxious. Helping them recognize physical signs like clammy hands or a racing heart allows them to identify when anxiety is starting, paving the way for proactive coping.
What Relaxation Techniques Can Teens Use To Manage Anxiety?
Work with your teen to find effective relaxation techniques. Options include deep breathing exercises (e.g., 10 deep breaths), counting slowly to ten, visualizing a happy place or person, or even splashing cold water on their face or wrists. The goal is to equip them with tools to use as soon as they feel anxiety emerging, focusing on management, not elimination.
Why Is It Important For Teens To Avoid Situations That Make Them Anxious?
While avoiding anxious situations offers short-term relief, it worsens anxiety long-term. By not confronting fears, the situations become scarier. Help your teen take small, "baby steps" to face what makes them anxious. This teaches them that confronting fears gradually reduces anxiety, building resilience and confidence over time.
How Should Parents Validate A Teen's Anxiety Without Amplifying It?
Validate your teen's feelings by assuring them it's okay to be anxious and that you're there to help them through it. This creates a safe space for expression without minimizing their experience or making it worse. The message should be supportive and empathetic: "I know you are anxious and that is OK, and I am here to help you get through this."
For more information, check out these popular topics:
- Is It Normal for My 11-Month-Old to Be Fussy and Clingy?
- How Can I Handle My Baby’s Separation Anxiety & Parental Preference?
- Why Is My 4-Year-Old Acting Mean After a Playdate?
Do you have any parenting questions for our parenting coach and expert, Dr. Ana Aznar? Ask for free today!
