Ask Dr. Ana: How Do I Co-Parent With a Narcissist Without Losing My Mind?

Question:

How to co-parent with a narcissist? I'm at my wit's end with him.

Dr. Ana’s Answer:

I am not sure if your co-parent has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder or if you are using the term ‘narcissist’ to describe someone who is very self-centred.  

In any case, here are some useful tips for you to take: 

• Accept that he probably won’t change.  
• Set clear boundaries. Draw the line on what is OK and what is not.  
• Make a parenting plan. Doing so will help you to establish clear boundaries and rules and it will hopefully help avoid future disagreements. There are some examples in the link below.  
• Do not talk badly about him to your child. Refer about him in a respectful way. Try to appreciate his good points and not linger on his faults.  
• Consider therapy. If handling it on your own, is getting too much, therapy might be a good idea. The therapist will help you manage difficult scenarios and will also help you manage your feelings. If your child is having a tough time, counselling for him may be a good idea. Get in touch with me if you want to explore this idea.  

You may also find these articles interesting: 

• What Is a Narcissistic Parent? 
• Tips on Healthy Co-Parenting 
• Create a Successful Parenting Plan (& Parenting Template Ideas) 

Co-parenting is not easy but co-parenting with someone who is extremely self-centred can feel like an impossible task. I wish you and your family all the very best.  

Love,  

Ana 

Dr Ana Aznar 

Do you have questions for Dr. Ana? Ask for free today!

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