Dr. Ana Aznar
Question:
I’m a SAHM and I’m starting to feel like a mom slave. What should I do? I just can’t bear my family and doing everything, all of it, anymore
Dr. Ana’s Answer:
I am sorry you are feeling this way. It is very important that you address this situation because it is clearly not working for you.
Here are a few ideas you may find useful:
- Does your partner know how you feel? Tell him. But tell him in a nice way. Not accusing or blaming him. Just tell him like you told me.
- Make a detailed list of every single thing you do around the house and for the kids. You need to include everything: cooking, shopping, cleaning, paying bills, getting the kids ready for school, meal preparation, laundry, doctor’s appointments, meetings with teachers, organizing playdates.... everything. Show it to him. Show him because, as he has never been in your position, he does not know everything that you do. He will understand you better once he knows. It is not about throwing it to his face, but about getting him to understand how it is for you.
- Tell him that you need to feel that the division of labour between you two is not fair and that you need to reorganize things.
- I don’t know how old your children are, but even little kids can help around the house. If your kids are older, think about how much you do for them and whether there are things that they should be doing themselves. Discuss it with them and allocate tasks amongst members of the family.
- You are not alone in feeling this way. I think most mothers have been where you are at some point or another. This is something I see clearly in my work with mothers. I truly believe that you will benefit from working a bit on your feelings and thoughts. If you want to have a session with me to discuss it, please get in touch with me.
I wish you all the very best.
Love,
Ana
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