80 Thanksgiving Dad Jokes to Make You Gobble ’Til You Wobble

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Get ready to gobble up laughs with our ultimate Thanksgiving dad joke collection! From turkey puns to cranberry zingers, these family-friendly jokes will have everyone groaning, grinning, and reaching for more pie.

Thanksgiving dinner tends to bring out not only everyone’s appetites and gratitude for those closest to them, but also the corniest senses of humor (we’re looking at you, dads). So, if you want to keep the chuckles rolling between courses this holiday, why not dip into our gravy boat of classic Thanksgiving dad jokes that are perfect to gobble up during turkey day celebrations? Let’s take a gander!

Turkey Talk: Classic Poultry Puns

Let’s start with some turkey jokes that are almost as stuffed as the bird itself.

Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
What sound does a turkey's phone make?
Wing, wing!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food!
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
To hatchet!
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot!
Why don't turkeys ever finish their meals?
They're always stuffed!
What did the turkey say to the computer?
Google, Google, Google.
How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
I'll tell you at Christmas!
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A bird that can pluck itself!
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside.

Food for Thought: Feast-Themed Funnies

Let’s be honest, Thanksgiving is all about the food, including these jokes.

Why shouldn't you sit next to a turkey at dinner?
Because he will gobble it all up.
My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes.
But I told them I couldn't just quit "cold turkey."
Why did the stuffing get a standing ovation?
Because it was the bread-winner.
What's a potato's favorite horror movie?
The Silence of the Yams!
Why did the cranberries turn red?
Because they saw the turkey dressing.
What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner?
The casse-role!
Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots!
What do you call a sad cranberry?
A blueberry.
How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch!
What's the difference between Thanksgiving and April Fools' Day?
On one you're thankful, on the other you're prankful.
Why did the gravy go to therapy?
It had too many issues to pour out!
What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?
Plymouth Rock!
Why don't side dishes ever win arguments?
Because the turkey always gets the last word!
Where does corn typically work?
The stalk market.
My mom wanted me to help with the Thanksgiving potatoes. I told her it was a-peel-ing work.

Little Giggles: Jokes for the Kids' Table

These simple and silly jokes are perfect for the youngest members of the family.

Knock, knock. Who's there?
Tamara. Tamara who?
Tamara we'll have turkey leftovers!
What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?
Lucky!
What did the little pumpkin say to the big pumpkin?
"You're a cutie pie!”
Why did the pie go to the dentist?
It needed a filling!
What's a turkey's favorite dessert?
Peach gobbler.
Why did the farmer separate the turkey and the chicken?
He sensed fowl play.
What do you call a stuffed animal?
You, after Thanksgiving dinner!
How did the salt and pepper welcome their guests?
They said, "Seasoning's greetings!"
What smells the best at Thanksgiving dinner?
Your nose!
Why can't you take a turkey to church?
They use fowl language.
What's the cutest season?
Aww-tumn!
What's the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?
A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries!
Why do turkeys always go "gobble, gobble"?
Because they never learned table manners!

Eye-Roll Worthy: Jokes for Teens

Teens may act too cool for dad jokes, but a perfectly timed pun can still earn a smirk (I hope)!

What happens when you're too harsh on cranberries and make them grouchy?
You end up with crabby-berries!
Why did the turkey refuse dessert?
He was already stuffed.
I was going to serve sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving. But I yam not in the mood.
What's Frankenstein's favorite Thanksgiving dish?
Monster mash potatoes!
If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?
Pilgrims!
Why do pilgrims' pants always fall down?
Because they wear their buckles on their hats.
What did the sweet potato say to the pumpkin?
I yam what I yam.
Why was the turkey put in jail?
The police suspected fowl play!
What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A har-vest!
Why did the turkey get detention?
For using fowl language in class!
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The tur-key.
I was going to serve sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving. But I yam not in the mood this year.
What did the Thanksgiving turkey say to the Christmas ham?
Nice to meat you!
What did Meghan Trainor sing at the Thanksgiving dinner table?
"I'm all about that baste."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I don't eat this much!

Pilgrim Punchlines: Historical Humor

Nothing says "dad joke" quite like dragging history into the mix, am I right?

What was the Pilgrims' favorite type of music?
Plymouth Rock, of course!
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
Because they missed their plane!
What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach?
Puritan.
Why did the cranberry sauce go to the Mayflower?
It was feeling jellied.
Why didn't the Pilgrims want to make bread?
It was too kneady!
What do you call the age of a pilgrim?
A pilgrimage!
How did the Mayflower show that it liked America?
It hugged the shore!
Why were the Pilgrims so good at basketball?
They had great Plymouth-ates!
What do you call a Pilgrim's vocabulary?
Pilgrish!

Leftover Laughs: Bonus Jokes

Can't get enough? Here are some extra jokes that are too good to leave out—just like those Thanksgiving leftovers that somehow taste even better the next day.

Why did the turkey start a band?
He had the drumsticks, but he needed someone on the fiddle.
What's the most important thing to remember on Thanksgiving?
Elastic waistbands!
Why do turkeys love rainy days?
Fowl weather.
What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter G!
Why was the turkey the life of the party?
He knew how to break the ice and stuff!
How do you make a turkey float?
Two scoops of ice cream, root beer, and a turkey!
What did the corn on the cob say when it was complimented?
Aw, shucks!
How do you keep Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep?
Serve them plenty of coffee—it's grounds for staying awake!
Why did the turkey volunteer at the soup kitchen?
To give something back to the community!
What do you call someone who loves Thanksgiving leftovers?
Gravy-full!
Why did everyone want to hang out with the corn?
It was a-maize-ing!
What's a turkey's favorite Thanksgiving song?
"I'm Dreaming of a Flight Christmas!"
Why can't you invite the mashed potatoes to poker night?
They always fold.
Why is Thanksgiving the best holiday for gossip?
Everyone's talking turkey!
What do you call Thanksgiving dinner when you have to make it yourself?
Labor Day.
Why do cranberries make terrible comedians?
Their jokes are too tart!
How are a Thanksgiving turkey and a slightly warped person similar?
They're both a little off their rocker.

Chortling, Chuckles, and Celebrations

So, this year, while you’re all passing the turkey and swapping stories of thankfulness, why not stuff the conversation with some of the most hilarious (and cringe-worthy) Thanksgiving dad jokes? Who knows, it might make some people leave the table early, which just means more pie for you! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

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