For parents

Ask Dr. Ana: How Can I Support My Partner After Losing a Parent?

Question:

What to say to someone who lost a parent? I'm not sure what to say or do or where to start with my partner's loss of his mother recently, but I want to be there for him.

Dr. Ana’s Answer:

I am very sorry to hear about your partner’s loss. And I think you already have answered your question. There is not much you need to say. We just need to be there. Listen to your partner. Be there. Show him love by preparing his favourite lunch, buying his favourite treat, and doing the things he enjoys.  

Ask Dr. Ana: What Does Authoritarian Parenting Mean in Social Work?

Question:

What does authoritarian parenting mean in social work?

Dr. Ana’s Answer:

Authoritarian parenting style is, with authoritative, permissive, and neglectful, one of the four traditional parenting styles. These four styles of parenting were first quoted by psychologists Baumrid, Maccoby and Martin, after observing thousands of parents and children. 

You can read all about authoritarian parenting in this article:  

How Does Parental Mental Health Affect a Child?

Many parents struggle with their mental health. This is very concerning because their children may have more difficulties growing up. Let me tell you why.  

How Does Parents’ Mental Health Affect Their Child? 

When parents struggle with their mental health, they are less able to take care of their children, they pay less attention to their children’s needs, and the quality of the family’s life gets worse. Parents may be harsher with their children or may be distant from them.  

Sources +

 

[1] DiPietro, J. A. (2012). Maternal stress in pregnancy: considerations for fetal development. Journal of adolescent health, 51(2), S3-S8. http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2012.04.008 

[2] Loveyjoy, M.C., Graczyk, P.A., O’Hare, E., & Neuman (2000). Maternal depression and parenting behaviour: a meta-analytic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 20, (5), https://doi.org/10.1016/S0272-7358(98)00100-7 

[3] Jung, V., Short, R., Letourneau, N., & Andrews, D. (2007). Interventions with depressed mothers and their infants: Modifying interactive behaviours. Journal of affective disorders, 98(3), 199-205. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2006.07.014 

[4] Fisher, S. D. (2017). Paternal mental health: why is it relevant?. American journal of lifestyle medicine, 11(3), 200-211. 

[5] Pemberton, C. K., Neiderhiser, J. M., Leve, L. D., Natsuaki, M. N., Shaw, D. S., Reiss, D., & Ge, X. (2010). Influence of parental depressive symptoms on adopted toddler behaviors: An emerging developmental cascade of genetic and environmental effects. Development and psychopathology, 22(4), 803-818. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0954579410000477 

[6] Kiernan, K.E., & Mensah, F.K. (2009). Poverty, maternal depression, family status and children’s cognitive and behavioral development in early childhood: A longitudinal study. Journal of Social Policy, 38(4), 569-588. doi:10.1017/S0047279409003250 

[7] Field, T., Diego, M., Hernandez-Reif, M., Figueiredo, B., Deeds, O., Contogeorgos, J., & Ascencio, A. (2006). Prenatal paternal depression. Infant Behavior and Development, 29(4), 579-583. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.infbeh.2006.07.010 

[8] Goodman, Janice H. "Influences of maternal postpartum depression on fathers and on father–infant interaction." Infant Mental Health Journal: Official Publication of The World Association for Infant Mental Health 29, no. 6 (2008): 624-643. 

[9] Hossain, Z., Field, T., Gonzalez, J., Malphurs, J., Valle, C. D., & Pickens, J. (1994). Infants of “depressed” mothers interact better with their nondepressed fathers. Infant Mental Health Journal, 15(4), 348-357. https://doi.org/10.1002/1097-0355(199424)15:4%3C348::AID-IMHJ2280150404%3E3.0.CO;2-Y 

 

Ask Dr. Ana: Teens and Tattoos, Yes or No?

Question:

Should I let my teenager get a tattoo? She’s 17 and I don’t want her to make a mistake she’ll regret, but I also have tattoos and don’t want to restrict her because she can get one with parental approval in our state.

Dr. Ana’s Answer:

This is one of those parenting questions for which there is not a right or wrong answer. It depends on your values. Some parents don’t see a problem with their teen doing a tattoo whereas others forbid it completely.  

Ask Dr. Ana: How Can I Remove Parental Responsibility from an Unfit Father?

Question:

How to remove parental responsibility from father if he is unfit? What proof do I need as a now single mother? His parents are making this so hard and I don’t have any family myself to help with advice

Dr. Ana’s Answer:

I am very sorry that you are in this situation. It must be very tough for you.  

The process of removing parental responsibility depends on where you live. In most countries a parent can be deemed unfit when: 

Ask Dr. Ana: What Is Gentle Parenting and Should I Try It?

Question:

What the heck is gentle parenting and why would people do it?? 

Dr. Ana’s Answer:

I love your question! If you follow me, you will know that I am not a big fan of gentle parenting. Gentle parenting was introduced by Sarah Ockwell-Smith in 2015. Since then, it went viral in social media. In my opinion, gentle parenting is a reaction to the way many parents these days were raised. Many parents were raised in a much more authoritarian way, and in their effort to do it differently, they have gone to the other extreme.  

Ask Dr. Ana: How Can I Handle Co-Parenting as a Newly Separated Mom?

A newly separated mom feeling overwhelmed with parenting decisions, like handling school fines, family traditions, and how to approach things like signing birthday cards. She's seeking advice and support, especially as she's also on the spectrum.

Read the Full Question Below

Dr. Ana’s Answer:

I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is totally normal for you to feel overwhelmed. All those little things are a lot when you add them together!  

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