25 Tips to Spice Up Your Marriage (When You Have Kids)

Parenting is a beautiful, rewarding experience, but let's face it—balancing a healthy marriage with the demands of raising kids can be incredibly challenging. Between late-night feedings, soccer practices, and endless laundry, it’s easy for your relationship to take a backseat. However, nurturing your marriage is essential—not just for you as a couple, but for the family as a whole.
The good news? With a little effort and creativity, you can reignite that spark and keep your marriage thriving, even in the midst of chaos. Here are 16 practical tips to spice up your marriage (yes, even with kids in the picture!).
Prioritize Quality Time Together
Kids, work, and daily chaos can make marriage feel like you're just co-managers of a tiny human factory. But don’t let date nights turn into distant memories! Let’s talk about how to carve out some much-needed "us time" and keep the spark alive.
1. Schedule Regular Date Nights
Just because you’re parents doesn’t mean date nights have to disappear. Whether it’s dinner at your favorite restaurant or simply curling up with a movie after the kids go to bed, prioritizing this time together is crucial. Add it to your calendar, just like you would for a doctor’s appointment—it’s that important.
2. Wake Up Early for Coffee Dates
Not a night owl? Try morning coffee dates instead! Wake up an hour earlier than the kids and enjoy a quiet cup of coffee while reconnecting. The peaceful start to the day can make a huge difference.
3. Plan a Mini Getaway
It doesn’t have to be a week in the Bahamas (though that sounds tempting!). Even a one-night staycation at a local hotel can give you a much-needed break and chance to reconnect. Bonus points if you unplug from social media during your stay.
4. Utilize Nap Times Wisely
Rather than using nap times solely for chores or catching up on work, dedicate one nap session a week to spending intentional time together. Play a board game, have a meaningful chat, or just sit outside together and relax.
Keep the Romance Alive
With a little creativity (and maybe some stolen moments), you can keep the spark alive and make time for each other—even in the chaos of parenting. Let’s dive into some fun, doable tips to bring the butterflies back!
5. Leave Surprise Notes
A simple sticky note on the bathroom mirror saying "You’re amazing!" or a love note tucked into their work bag speaks volumes. These small gestures remind your partner that they’re appreciated, even in the hustle of parenting.
6. Have a Tech-Free Hour
Make a rule to turn off phones, TVs, and computers for one hour each evening. Use that time to truly connect—talk about your day, make plans, or simply enjoy each other’s company.
7. Revisit Your “Firsts”
Remember where you had your first date or the restaurant where you celebrated your first anniversary? Plan a trip down memory lane—it’s an easy way to bring back those butterflies.
8. Surprise Each Other
Whether it’s picking up their favorite snack from the store or organizing an impromptu picnic in the backyard, surprises inject excitement and spontaneity into your relationship.
9. Have At-Home Date Nights
Not every date has to involve going out. Plan cozy nights at home—cook dinner together, watch your favorite films, or turn your living room into a dance floor. These intimate moments can be just as romantic and meaningful as an evening out.
Communication and Conflict Resolution

Let’s face it—between diaper changes and school pickups, communication can turn into grunts and passing notes (aka texts about groceries). But keeping the spark alive means learning how to talk, really talk, and handle the inevitable conflicts without turning your living room into a battleground. Here’s how to keep the love and laughter flowing, even when life gets messy!
10. Use "I" Statements
When conflicts arise (and they will), focus on expressing your feelings using "I" statements rather than casting blame. For example, say, "I feel overwhelmed when…," rather than, "You never help with…"
11. Have Regular Check-Ins
Set aside time each week to check in with each other. Ask open-ended questions like, "How have you been feeling lately?" or "Is there anything I can do to support you more?"
12. Resolve Conflicts Quickly
Don’t let small arguments fester into bigger issues. If a disagreement arises, address it as soon as possible to ensure it doesn’t linger and create unnecessary tension.
13. Create a “Marriage Journal”
Consider keeping a shared journal where each of you can write down your thoughts and feelings. It can be a great way to communicate, especially if you’re finding it hard to talk about certain topics directly.
14. Practice Active Listening
Take time to truly listen when your partner is speaking. Put away distractions, maintain eye contact, and show genuine interest in what they’re saying. Active listening strengthens communication and helps your partner feel valued and understood.
Supporting Each Other in Parenthood
Parenthood can feel like a tag-team wrestling match some days—but you're on the same team! Let’s talk about how you can have each other’s backs while keeping the spark alive (yes, even with toys on the floor and a baby monitor in hand).
15. Divide and Conquer
Parenting is a team effort. Share responsibilities to ensure no one feels overwhelmed. For example, one of you can cook dinner while the other handles bath time.
16. Express Gratitude
It’s easy to overlook the effort your partner puts into parenting, especially when you’re juggling a million things yourself. Take a moment to say "thank you" for the things they do, whether big or small.
17. Support Each Other’s Self-Care
Encourage your partner to take time for themselves by doing something they love—whether it’s a gym session, a walk in the park, or an hour to read a book. A well-rested, happy partner makes for a stronger relationship.
18. Celebrate the Little Wins
Did the two of you get through a particularly challenging parenting phase together? Celebrate it! It doesn’t have to be extravagant—a special dessert or a toast at dinner can go a long way in recognizing your teamwork.
Get Intimate, Physically and Emotionally
Intimacy is a vital part of any strong and healthy relationship, encompassing both physical and emotional connection. It’s about feeling understood, cherished, and close to your partner on a deeper level. By nurturing intimacy, you create a safe space for your relationship to thrive and grow stronger over time.
19. Visit a Sex Therapist
Sometimes, seeking professional guidance can strengthen intimacy and communication in your relationship. A sex therapist can provide a safe space to discuss concerns, explore desires, and build a deeper connection with your partner.
20. Introduce Sex Toys
Enhancing intimacy can be as simple as introducing something new into the bedroom. Adding sex toys can encourage exploration and elevate your intimate experiences. Make sure to approach the topic with open communication and mutual consent.
21. Create a Romantic Playlist
Music has a unique way of setting the mood and evoking emotions. Curate a playlist filled with songs that reflect your love, shared memories, or simply tunes that bring warmth and romance to your time together.
22. Write a Love Letter to Your Partner
Express your feelings through the written word. A heartfelt love letter can remind your partner of how much they mean to you and serve as a lasting token of your affection. It’s a timeless and deeply meaningful gesture.
23. Try Role Play
Reignite the spark by stepping into a playful scenario with your partner. Pretend you’re strangers meeting for the first time, or invent new personas for a fun, flirty twist. Role play can be a creative way to connect and have a little adventure together.
24. Learn and Speak Your Partner's Love Language
Understanding how your partner feels most loved can make a profound difference in your relationship. Whether it’s acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, or gifts, showing love in the way they need it strengthens your bond.
25. Create a Vision Board Together
Sit down with your partner and dream about your future together by creating a vision board. Gather magazines, photos, or printouts, and cut out images and words that represent your shared goals, dreams, and aspirations. This activity not only encourages meaningful conversations but also fosters alignment in your long-term hopes, creating a visual reminder of everything you both are working toward as a team.
Make Your Marriage a Priority
Marriage and parenthood aren’t meant to come at the expense of each other. With these tips in mind, you can nurture your relationship while raising kids, fostering a loving and supportive environment for your entire family.
If you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level, even as busy parents, why not try one of these new tips this week?
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