There are worries that are counterproductive for your daughter and that sap you, Mom, of good energy. So here are some things you had best do:
- Stop worrying about situations you have no control over.
- Refrain from expressing excessive worries that could cause a rift between you and your daughter.
- Avoid worrying in a way that tells your daughter you don't think she is capable of handling a situation and thwarts her sense of self.
- Do not express worries that make your daughter uncomfortable or encourage her to be inhibited and feel guilty.
- Tell your daughters that they can curb your worrying with reassurances and a little more time spent on conversing.
How to Curb Your Worries
In addition to methods that will relax you-like worry beads-try this thoughtful three-step method:
- Identify the nature of your worry or thought. Determine precisely what it is you are worrying about.
- Evaluate whether your worry is realistic or unrealistic. Ask yourself whether your worry is helpful, whether any real threat is present, or whether your worrying primarily because of habit.
- If you can't make a determination, gather more information and seek verification-not sympathy-that will reinforce your worries.
In order to gauge how well this method is working when it comes to your daughter, keep a log of your worries and see if your entries decrease over time.