Rather than put her down or forbid her for wanting to wear these clothes, I would allow her to present herself as she desires. If she asks you what you think of her clothing and hairstyle, I would be honest with her, while taking care not to embarrass or offend her. You can and most likely will disagree about what looks best on her in terms of her clothes, makeup and hairstyle. That's par for the course. She's experimenting now, trying out different looks, language and ways of thinking. She's also becoming more of a sexual being. She needs your support and encouraging words more now than ever, so don't pull away from her even though she may tell you to stay out of her life. Regardless of what she wears or how she looks, she's still your little girl. Stay connected to and interested in her life. Do more listening than lecturing. And don't abdicate your role when it comes to disciplinarian or confidant. I am sure that these "looks" will give way to others as she moves through adolescence. What will not change is her need for your unconditional love and acceptance. I am sure you'll be there to give these to her.
Daughter Wants to Dress "Punk"
Toddler and Teenager Expert Advice from Carleton Kendrick, Ed.M., LCSW