Kids and Suicide: A National Tragedy

by Carleton Kendrick Ed.M., LCSW

Kids. Suicide. Put the two together and you have a subject no one likes to talk about. A recent study by the Center for Disease Control found that suicide is the third leading cause of death for people ages 15 to 24, and that suicide rates in younger children are also on the rise.

Death of the dream
Why didn't past generations of youngsters commit suicide at these alarming rates? I believe today's children are far more stressed and discouraged than past youthful generations.

The despondent kids I've counseled believe the cherished American dream of going to college, getting a good, secure job, buying a house, and living happily ever after is gone. They've seen too many marriages destroyed. They've see too much of an ever-growing gap between our country's haves and have nots.

They talk of growing up too fast and never meeting their parents' expectations. They are terrified of having sex and getting AIDS. Scared to tell their parents they're gay. (Gay teens' suicide rates are much higher than straight teens'.) These kids are trying desperately to hang on to any dream.

Prevention through connection
Perhaps the results of a recent telephone survey of 505 fifth-to-eighth graders and their parents can provide some tips on how we can prevent suicide. 58 percent of these parents and 73 percent of their kids said they spent less than one hour of each day talking to one another. The kids were given a list of categories and asked to select which ones were most important in their lives. Their parents independently guessed what their kids would choose. Parents believed their kids' top priorities were:

1. Fun, 2. Friends, 3. Looks.

The kids said their priorities were:

1. Their future, 2. Schoolwork, 3. Family matters.

Not one match!

How many of us know our children's deepest fears, their top priorities, their inner struggles? We can't respond simply, "How can I know those things when my kids don't even talk to me?" We have to make every attempt, especially during adolescence, to know their demons, to support their goals, to show we understand.

Read Carleton Kendrick's bio.

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