Your friend is humiliating her son and in so doing she is breeding anger, resentment, and revenge in him. He's made up his mind that she will not "break" him with these punishments and she may in fact be fueling more of his bad behavior, as this becomes his way of getting back at her. Unless she tries to substitute building a relationship with her son, this power struggle will continue and become worse. If there were any way that you or another adult could help her to attend some parenting courses, you would be doing a great service for their relationship and his well-being.
Washing a Child's Mouth Out with Soap
Carleton Kendrick has been in private practice as a family therapist and has worked as a consultant for more than 20 years. He has conducted parenting seminars on topics ranging from how to discipline toddlers to how to stay connected with teenagers. Kendrick has appeared as an expert on national broadcast media such as CBS, Fox Television Network, Cable News Network, CNBC, PBS, and National Public Radio. In addition, he's been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, USA Today, Reader's Digest, BusinessWeek, Good Housekeeping, Woman's Day, and many other publications.
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