How to Be Your Child's Champion

by the Council for Exceptional Children

As a parent of a child with disabilities or special gifts, you may find yourself thrown into the role of "advocate." At times, you may be working for changes in federal or state law. But more often than not, you will be talking with your child's teacher or TEAM about placement, a teaching strategy, or your child's difficulties in the classroom.

To help you become a successful advocate, Trina Osher, director of the Family Leadership Initiative and member of the CEC, shares these tips.

Get all the information
The first step to successful advocacy is to gather information. Learn what is happening in the school; get copies of school records, tests, and evaluations affecting your child; and talk with your child's teacher to learn what she views as the areas of concern.

You should also learn about special education law and its protections. You can get this information from the school's special education or guidance director, state departments of education, or parent information and training centers, as well as organizations such as CEC. The law can be complex and difficult to understand, so consider working with a parent advocate, who can explain the law, as well as special education procedures.

Last but not least, talk with your child to learn how she views the situation and what she thinks will help. Even young children have a keen sense of their stress points and what could be done to make it easier for them to succeed.

Be specific
As your child's advocate, you need to be clear about what you want the school to do. Be prepared to explain what you are happy and unhappy with, what you want changed, and how you want it changed. For example, if your child is having difficulty completing homework, you should say whether you would like the assignment to be changed or for it to be provided on audio tape.

To learn about the different options available, you could talk with other parents who have children with similar problems. Ask the school for contact names.

Speak honestly and positively
Communicating well with your child's teacher and other school personnel is essential to your advocacy efforts. Keep in mind that the school's interest is the same as yours -- you both want the best for your child. In your dealings with the school, be honest and develop a positive relationship with the teacher and other staff. Start where the concern is, usually with the classroom teacher. Only move up the chain of command if you must.

It's hard to be diplomatic when you are concerned about your child's welfare -- you want to get feisty. But, get feisty only if that's what it takes.

Bring a companion to meetings
Bring a companion, friend, or advocate with you to school meetings. This person can help you listen, take notes so you are free to concentrate on the discussion, and help you understand what happened afterwards. In addition, your companion can help slow you down if things get too emotional.

Don't be afraid to say No, or Not Yet
Don't be pressured into making a bad decision. You can always say no, request more information, or ask for more time to consider a proposed solution. Take the time to consult with experts and people you trust in the community, then get back to the school with your decision.

Remember due process
If your child has a disability, you can use due process to resolve disputes with the school, but it should be a last resort. Often, due process proceedings turn the school and parents into adversaries. It is much more beneficial to maintain a positive relationship with those who work with your child.

Strengthen your voice with others
One of the best ways to strengthen your voice is to band together with other parents facing similar situations. To find other parents who share your concern, try this: Give the school a sheet of labels printed with your name, address, and phone along with a note stating that you would like to meet other parents facing a similar issue. The teachers and principal might not be able to give you other parents' names, but they can talk to interested parents who will be able to take your name and number with them.

When you meet with other parents, share your experiences. As a group, develop some proposals to solve the problem. The parents should then meet with the appropriate school staff. For example, a group of parents who wanted to get computers in the resource room would meet first with the resource room teacher. This approach allows the parents to build a strong partnership with the teachers. Then teachers and parents can build an alliance, which can be particularly effective in creating change.

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