Talking About Terrorism with Preschoolers

by Alvin Poussaint, M.D. and Susan Linn, Ed.D.

It's best for younger children not to be exposed to repeated images of violence. Children absorb more than we think and exposure to images of carnage can lead to confusion and fear for their own safety. If you can get your news from the radio or print media while they are awake, you may save them from images that will haunt them for the rest of their lives. At the same time, even toddlers pick up on adult emotions. You can tell toddlers that you are sad but not because of them. If they persist in asking why you are sad, you can even say that some people got hurt, but that your family is safe.

Three- to five-year-olds may ask about the terrorism, even if they have not been exposed to it directly. If they go to preschool, or play groups, other children might talk about it. If they do, talk about it in concrete terms, while strongly reassuring them of their own safety. Many parents are having trouble talking to very young children about these events. Here are some helpful phrases that you might use.

"A very sad, scary thing happened. Some people blew up buildings in New York and Washington D.C. A lot of people were hurt and some of them died. We're safe here, but we are sad and angry that this happened to other people."

"People all over the world are working together to keep this from happening again."

"The people who did this were wrong. Killing people is never a good way to solve problems."

Try to keep your preschooler's lives as normal as possible. Give them extra hugs and spend more time with them if you can. Over the next few weeks, your children may be more clingy, wet their beds, or have trouble separating or going to sleep. If these behaviors occur for more than a month, you might want to seek professional help.

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