- Meet privately with your husband and discuss rules and expectations for your stepson. Come to an agreement about his behaviors and decide in advance who will handle what infractions and what the punishments will be.
- Meet together with your stepson and share with him your collective decisions.
- Mean what you say and do not "let go" of poor behavior rather than confront the issues. It is best to decide how and when to deal with the behaviors. Sending him to his room for a temporary period to cool off is not bad, as long as you follow up with your discipline.
Do not be intimidated by the fact that you are not his natural parent. No matter what the relationship, you must set limits and establish boundaries that enable your family life to proceed with consistency and caring. Keep up the good work, but don't go at it alone. Dad needs to take a strong role now and in the future.