Try focusing on the positive with your son when he doesn't listen at home. Check your public library or a bookstore for a book on positive discipline. Then sit down with him when you are both calm and determine some rewards and consequences that he can earn for listening and following directions. Set up a chart or calendar on which you will make check marks when your son listens and does what you ask the first time you ask it. Three checks might earn extra computer time; ten checks might earn having a friend over to play. You can increase the number of checks required to earn a reward as your son's behavior improves.
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