50 Back to School Jokes for Kids

The beginning of a school year can be stressful for kids and parents alike. New teachers, new environments, long days, adjusting to new routines, and getting back into important habits can all feel overwhelming. Ease some of the stress with these kids’ school jokes that will help everyone crack a smile.

More: 30 Back to School Memes Every Parent will Appreciate

You could easily turn jokes into a printable and add it to your kid’s lunch box to help brighten their day. Share a joke while getting ready in the morning, or save it for around the dinner table at night to help ease tension and lighten the mood. From Kindergarten to High School, these 50 jokes are a great starting point, and before you know it swapping jokes may become something everyone looks forward to.

Here’s our list of 50 Back to School Jokes for Kids.

1. On the first day of school, what did the teacher say her three favorite words were?
   June, July, and August
2. Why did the echo get detention the first day?
   It kept answering back
3. Why was the cafeteria clock behind on the first day?
   It kept going back four seconds
4. What is a snake’s favorite subject?
   Hiss tory
5. What did the Buffalo say at school drop-off?
   Bison
6. Why do calculators make great friends?
   You can count on them
7. What did the triangle say to the circle?
   You’re pointless
8. Why does the math book always look sad?
   They are full of problems
9. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
   One says “spit out that gum!” the other says “chew, chew, chew”
10. Where does a surfer go to school?
    Boarding school
11. What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
    Pi
12. Why does a music teacher need a ladder?
    To reach the high notes
13. What did the math book say to the history book?
    Boy, I’m full of problems
14. Where do kids in New York learn multiplication tables?
    Times Square
15. What did the pen say to the pencil?
    What’s your point?
16. What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
    Square meals
17. Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
    Because he swept her off her feet
18. Why did the kid eat his homework?
    Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake
19. Where do pencils go on vacation?
    Pencil-vania
20. What room can a student never enter?
    A mushroom
21. What does a book do when it gets cold?
    It puts on a jacket
22. Why is glue bad at math?
    It always gets stuck on the problems
23. Why did the kid cross the playground?
    To get to the other slide
24. Children in what grade have the greenest thumbs?
    Kindergarden
25. Why did the teacher jump into the pool?
    He wanted to test the water
26. What is the smartest bug?
    A spelling bee
27. What did the spider make online?
    A website
28. What flies around the school at night?
    An alpha-bat
29. Why can’t you do a math test in the jungle?
    Because there are too many cheetahs
30. What did the bully have for lunch?
    A knuckle sandwich
31. What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
    A bookworm
32. Why did the M&M go to school?
    Because it really wanted to be a smartie
33. Why didn’t the sun go to college?
    Because it already had a million degrees
34. Why does a teacher wear sunglasses?
    Because her students are so bright
35. What’s the king of school supplies?
    The ruler
36. Why is history the sweetest subject?
    Because it’s full of dates
37. Why did the boy steal a chair from the classroom?
    Because the teacher told him to take a seat
38. What happened when the teacher tied all the kid’s shoelaces together?
    They had a big class trip
39. How do you make seven even?
    Take away the 's'
40. Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?
    They keep getting lost at C
41. Why don’t fish go on vacation?
    Because they’re always in a school
42. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
    Because then it would be a foot
43. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a calculator?
    Someone you can always count on
44. Why did the kid study on an airplane?
    He wanted a higher education
45. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
    To stay in shape
46. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
    A synonym roll
47. What did the ghost teacher say to his class?
    Watch the board, and I’ll go through it again
48. Why did the student bring scissors to school?
    Because he wanted to cut class
49. What do you call a student with a dictionary in his pocket?
    Smartie pants
50. How did the music teacher get locked out of her classroom?
    Her keys were on the piano

Want some more jokes? Check out The 60 Best Dad Jokes of All Time