Are You Prepared for Parent-Teacher Conferences?

2. Before my child's parent-teacher conference, I plan to make a list of...

• Every question I ever wanted to ask a teacher.
  So many questions, so little time. The twenty-minute time slot given to each parent will never be enough for this kind of a list. Pick one or two of the questions that cause the most concern, and go from there.
• My child's strengths at home and school, and my concerns.
  Way to go! Your parent teacher conference will be a true give and take of information.
• No lists. The teacher will tell me what's up
  You need a list! Think about your child's strengths at home and school, and make a list of the positive and negative experiences he's having. You, the teacher, and your child will get so much more out of the conference if you prepare.

3. How will you involve your child in the parent-teacher conference?

• I'll ask him what he thinks the teacher will have to say about him.
  You're halfway there! It is revealing to see if your child has a realistic picture of her progress, and this discussion can tell you a lot about her thoughts and feelings about herself and school. But be sure to include her afterward, too! Sharing with your child what the teacher said, in a supportive and encouraging way, reinforces her best efforts. If problems were brought up, start with a positive before discussing what seems to be a challenge for your child.
• I'll share with my child what the teacher says about her at the conference.
  You're halfway there! Sharing with your child what the teacher says, in a supportive and encouraging way, reinforces his best efforts. If problems were brought up, start with a positive before discussing what seems to be a challenge for your child. But be sure to include him beforehand, too! It is revealing to see if your child has a realistic picture of his progress, and this discussion can tell you a lot about his thoughts and feelings about himself and school.
• Both A and B.
  You know your stuff! Sharing with your child what the teacher says, in a supportive and encouraging way, reinforces his best efforts. If problems were brought up in the conference, start with a positive before discussing what seems to be a challenge for your child.

  Including him beforehand is a good idea, too! It is revealing to see if your child has a realistic picture of his progress, and this discussion can tell you a lot about his thoughts and feelings about himself and school.

• I won't involve him. Details of the conference should be kept private.
  It's okay to share. Your child should know where the teacher thinks she's doing well and where she could improve. Sharing with your child what the teacher says, in a supportive and encouraging way, reinforces his best efforts. If problems were brought up, start with a positive before discussing what seems to be a challenge for your child.

  It also helps to know how your child thinks she's doing. Be sure to include her beforehand, too! It is revealing to see if your child has a realistic picture of her progress, and this discussion can tell you a lot about her thoughts and feelings about herself and school.

4. There's tension at home and your child is under a lot of stress. What do you do?

• Wait until the parent-teacher conference to mention it.
  Don't wait! When there is illness or tension between parents, additional stress, or a change in routine at home, it usually shows up as a change in your child's behavior at school. It's always helpful to give a call to the school and alert the teacher to the reason behind the clouds over your child's sunny disposition.
• Call the teacher right away and give her a quick heads up.
  Yes! It's valuable to communicate early -- especially if special needs are involved. When there is illness or tension between parents, additional stress, or a change in routine at home, it usually shows up as a change in your child's behavior at school. It's always helpful to give a call to the school and alert the teacher to the reason behind the clouds over your child's sunny disposition.
• Say nothing. What goes on in your home is personal.
  What's going on at home can affect how your child behaves in school, so it's valuable to communicate early -- especially if special needs are involved. When there is illness or tension between parents, additional stress, or a change in routine at home, it usually shows up as a change in your child's behavior at school. It's always helpful to give a call to the school and alert the teacher to the reason behind the clouds over your child's sunny disposition.

5. You're upset: The teacher gave your son a zero for incomplete homework, and you don't think he deserved it. How do you raise the issue?

• You don't. You go over her head to the principal.
  Don't do it! It's important that you and your child's teacher work together as allies. Going to the principal before talking with the teacher is sure to sabotage that relationship. Calmly tell the teacher your concern, then listen to her side.
• You calmly tell the teacher your concern and listen to her side.
  But of course! Dale Carnegie would be proud. It's important to see the teacher as your ally. Approach the situation with a cooperative attitude.
• You let the teacher know how unfair she's being.
  Stop! You don't want to antagonize the teacher. It's important that you work together as allies. Instead of accusing, approach the situation with a cooperative attitude: Calmly tell the teacher your concern, then listen to her side.