Check out how much of your communication with her involves your criticizing her, complaining about her, arguing with her, or giving her consequences. You have to change that ratio so that the majority of your interactions with her revolve around your showing a genuine interest in her life, giving her encouraging words for her "doing things right," and allowing her to make responsible choices on a day-to-day basis.
Listen more than you talk. Ask more than tell. State facts instead of accusations. Be very clear about your strong views, opinions, and values. Respect her need for privacy. Involve her in negotiating rules and exploring solutions to problems. Give Taffel and Blau's, Parenting by Heart a read; it will help you ask yourself the right questions regarding your relationship with your daughter.