If he is allowed to continue to use your home as a hotel, where he assumes no responsibilities for his life, you not only are creating a negative environment for your 16-year-old (and 21-year-old) but also encouraging this 19-year-old to become a weaker and more dependent young man. I would sit down with him, lay out your expectations, set a time line for his showing you he can and will act responsibly, and have him sign that contract. Tell him you will honor his word as a man and your son and that you will give him all the support you can to get his life straight. It might be very helpful if he could form a supportive relationship with a therapist who would both challenge and respect him.
Unemployed Adult Son Living at Home
Carleton Kendrick has been in private practice as a family therapist and has worked as a consultant for more than 20 years. He has conducted parenting seminars on topics ranging from how to discipline toddlers to how to stay connected with teenagers. Kendrick has appeared as an expert on national broadcast media such as CBS, Fox Television Network, Cable News Network, CNBC, PBS, and National Public Radio. In addition, he's been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, USA Today, Reader's Digest, BusinessWeek, Good Housekeeping, Woman's Day, and many other publications.
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