Age group(s) for which this technique is helpful:
Preschool and Younger
Elementary School
Middle School
High School & Beyond

Primarily used to improve behavior:
Both At Home and At School

Instructions for using this technique:
When teaching the child something, or just trying to interact with them, make sure to eliminate as many distractions as possible. I'm not just talking about the tv or music playing, but other people as well. ADHD kids (and adults) have a tendency to 'misfire' when there is too much sensory input going on at one time.

If you are helping your child with their homework, make sure there is no one else in the room, especially other adults. Speak in a low key voice that is warm and encouraging. Always use your finger to point to what you want them to be looking at. DO NOT reprimand them for fidgeting or making small noises or humming quietly! If you want them to be sitting down, sit down; if you want them to be standing up, stand up. Lead the child by your own actions. If they become unruley take a small break and resume your activity or talk later, but not too much later. I recommend five minutes. Make the child take a break every 15 minutes so they do not burn out. This also works in discussing unwanted behaviors and actions. DO NOT GANG UP ON YOUR CHILD, they will shut down mentally and what you say will not register in their mind.

Other information parents should consider before using this technique:
I turor ADHD kids of all ages and I have one of my own. I have never seen the need for medication in any of these children when the Stay With Me technique is put into action full time.


This was most clearly illustrated to me when I started working with a 14 yr old boy who was incredibly intelligent but falling behind in his studies. I invited his parents to the first few sessions with him so I could see how they were helping him with his homework. I sat quietly and watched "Mike" shut down mentally while his parents constantly told him to "stop shaking your knee" and "What do you mean you don't know this? You were just telling me about it at home!". After about 2 minutes of that treatment "Mike" got so flustered he couldn't even work his calculator. He began to shout and scream and throw things onto the table saying "I don't know, I just can't do it!" Now, both of Mike's parents are normally very nice people and they meant well with what they were doing. But it was the exact opposite of what works for him. I asked the more agressive of the two parents (his mother) to leave the room and had his father sit and watch quietly. After giving Mike a sport drink and a Whoosy Ball to hold onto I asked him to start over. I sat next to him in the same position I wanted him to be in and "listened" to him tell me about the assignment. When he ran into hard spots, I asked him "What do YOU think the right way to find the answer would be?" When it came break time, I asked him to leave the room and he didn't get up from his seat. I then stood and he immediately did as well then exited the room as I had asked; I never had to repeat myself. I never told him not to fidget and I never told him not to make noises. The only time I ever "told" him to do anything was when he began to stray and start looking around... I said, "Mike, stay with me."