What subject(s) does this advice apply to?
Communication between divorced parents
Dealing with long distances between divorced parents

Describe the situation or problem.
The children are living with you so the school sends all of the notices, reports, etc. to you. Your ex wants to stay involved and informed for the kids sake.

What advice can you offer?
If you are the primary caretaker, make a commitment to yourself to keep your ex informed and involved in school activities and curriculum.

1. Ask the school administration to send notices and report cards to both parents, or make copies and send yourself.

2. Let your ex know of important school events (school open houses, performances, athletic events, etc.) so that he/she can plan to attend (give as much notice as possible: remember the golden rule!).

3. Figure out with your ex how to handle those times when you both are present at your childrenÆs activities. Do you feel comfortable sitting together or should you be on opposite sides of the room? Can you be polite to each other in your childÆs presence? Can you make sure your child spends some time with your ex during/before/after the event? Remember your children may want you both to be there û act in a way that is in your childrenÆs best interest.

4. Take photographs of school activities. Take and send a ôfirst day of schoolö photo or of the holiday concert. Help your child write a letter to send with the photos.

5. Order an extra set of school photos or split the package with your ex and his extended family. If your ex is far away, try to get or make a videotape of your childÆs performance and send it.

6. If there is a problem in school, let your ex know and if possible, have him or her attend any parent teacher conferences. Let your ex know of any strategies the school recommends so that you can work together to help your child.

This advice is most appropriate for parents with children in...
Elementary School
Middle School
High School & Beyond