Appropriate age group(s):
All

Values taught:
Recently I have been reading a book by Charles Murray (2006) titled, "In Our Hands". Murray's thesis is that America can provide for its entire population without a government welfare state, and proceeds to explain how. A part that caught my attention was his chapter on "The Pursuit of Happiness in Advanced Societies". Murray states,

The real problem advanced societies face has nothing to do with poverty, retirement, health care, or the underclass. The real problem is how to live meaningful lives in an age of plenty and security.

Throughout history, much of the meaning of life was linked to the challenge of staying alive. Staying alive required being a contributing part of a community. Staying alive required forming a family and having children to care for you in your old age. The knowledge that sudden death could happen any time required attention to spiritual issues.

Life in an age of plenty and security requires none of those things. Being part of a community is not necessary. Marriage is not necessary. Children are not necessary. Attention to spiritual issues is not necessary. It is not only possible but easy to go through life with few friends and serial sex partners, earning a good living, having a good time, and dying in old age, with no reason to think one has done anything significant than while away time.

Many may say that being able to while away your time without any responsibilities having a good time is my kind of happiness. If that is happiness then I want no part of it. Murray states (and I whole-heartedly agree) that "happiness is lasting and justified satisfaction with one's life as a whole." This definition cannot and is not synonymous with pleasure, which is neither lasting nor justified satisfaction as a whole. And it has to be more than just feeling good since even people who do bad things feel good at times. Charles Murray proposes five ingredients that make up happiness. The first two are what he refers to as passive materials - enough material resources and enough safety. In other words, you cannot be happy while being constantly in danger and starving. The other three are intimate relationships with other human beings, vocation, and self-respect. I would add one other and that would be God. The institutions we have that help us achieve this are family, community, religion, and the workplace.

In our "advance society", it is easy to focus on material things at the expense of what bring happiness, or to become imbalanced in what can bring us happiness - family, community, and workplace. I can become so caught up in my family and family things work, God, and community can suffer. While at the same time, a person can focus so much on their duty and devotion to their religion that their family relationships suffer and they begin to resent God and religion. If I seek happiness through the workplace alone by seeking recognition and the means to buy more material things sorrow will only ensue in the end. Yes, Charles Murray is right, learning to live a meaningful life in a society that has more resources, time, and means at its disposal than any other time in history is work indeed.

We must take time weekly or even daily to examine our lives and rebalance, if you will, those things that will bring us happiness - family, a meaningful vocation, self-respect, and our relationship with God. I can truly say that my source of happiness has been my family and the means to provide for them (my vocation), and my knowledge of God and the wisdom to follow his plan.

Description of technique for teaching kids values:
Principle: Happiness can be achieved in life as we properly use the means that have been given to us to achieve it - our family, a meaningful vocation, self-respect, and developing a relationship with God.

Application: First, take time at least each week to examine your life and the elements that can bring happiness to see if corrections need to be made in the priority of your time and resources. In teaching children, ask them the times they were the happiest and list them. I'm guessing that it won't necessarily be because of all the material things they were given. After you've listed them, discuss with them why each particular time made them happy and show them that it is not material things that make us happy but loving relationships, self-respect, good honest hard work, and our faith in God. Help them discover the elements listed above that can help us achieve happiness.

Other comments or suggestions:
For more principles and values to teach your children see - whowillteachthechildren.com