Description of discipline technique:
In 1991, I learned about a very unique and effective way of bringing out the best in my children (and in many adults) - encouraging and nurturing their inner qualities of character. When a child is needing discipline, I try to figure out what virtue needs to be called on in the situation. For example, if my son was talking to his sister disrespectfully, I will tell him to "Please be respectful, Aaron," or ask him, "How could you have said that respectfully?" My daughter's challenge for a couple of years has been shyness, and instead of telling people, "Oh, she's just shy," I whisper to her, "How can I help you with friendliness right now?" or "What will give you the courage to be friendly?" Using our qualities of the human spirit to call our children to be what's best in them is more empowering than anything I've ever done. Using the virtue, along with naming the specific act is the most effective disciplinary tool in my home. And it is now being used on me with my kids. My son just recently "called" me to respect, saying, "Mommy, I was upset that you didn't answer the door to the (census) person, It wasn't respectful." (My son is six.) This kind of talk is no prissy morality, it is a deep reverence for our human spirit.

Appropriate age group(s):
0-100