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Description of discipline technique:
The one thing most Parents/Guardians can agree on is that what may work for one child, may not work for the next. This is just too true. This is where trial and error comes into play, for finding what will work for your child(ren). I thought of something similiar to the "Incentive Tokens" technique listed in the boards but, found my child soon began "expecting" rewards for doing basic "good deeds" and other small chores. Can you imagine a six year old expecting a reward for helping a fellow classmate sharpen their pencil or a trip to the arcade for brushing his teeth? The "Incentive Tokens" backfired for me. My child still has a chorelist. His chore list consists of chores that (hopefully) will develop into a healthy rountine. Now instead of rewarding the completion of his chore list with money, trips to the movie or arcade, he is rewarded with positive praise and few other rewards, such as, successully completing 3 weeks of brushing his teeth, means he can pick out his own new toothpaste or new toothbrush, or 3 weeks of completing "toy clean-up", means he can pick out a new toy, etc. At the end of the week, I add up his "missed" chores. For each chore he failed to do, I have him pick out one toy and give it to me. He can earn it back the following week by not missing the chore that caused the toy to be taken away. Since he is also learning about money in school, he came to me and asked about "buying" his toys back. Since he gets an allowance (and his allowance is *very* important to him) I agreed to his suggestion. He pays 50 cents for each toy he wants back, if he doesn't earn it by chore completion first (which is encouraged before "banking" for the toy). The money he spends to buy his toys back, goes back into his allowance the following week or into his savings account, so he isn't losing there. Instead he has learned that by completing his chores he is praised into healthy habits (what child doesn't enjoy praise for a good job?). When buying his toys back he has learned the value of money and an appreciation for the penny.
Appropriate age group(s):
5 - 14(?)
Other suggestions or comments:
Besides my child's expectation of rewards before our modification of his chorelist rewards, I believe children should be rewarded for good deeds but, that certain activities should not be given as a reward. Children should feel that *special outings* or *family activites* are done because we (the parents) love our children and not just because they picked up their toys. Which believe it or not, is commonly misconceived by children when being rewarded with "family activities".
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