Sexuality in Young Children

Sooner or later you will have to deal with your child's realization that some parts of her body are pleasurable.
Q
I'm concerned about my seven-year-old. She's discovered that if she hangs on the corner of a door, she feels a sensation in her private area. It seems as though she's obsessed with it. I am constantly finding her doing this several times a day and I don't know what to do. I've even gone as drastic as telling her she'll have to go to a clinic away from home to get help, and that didn't even seem to work. I know its a discovery thing, but when is it going to wear off and is this a problem in the making?
A
Your daughter's behavior is perfectly normal for her age; children around age seven frequently discover that some parts of their bodies are pleasurable. The difficulty is in trying to discourage your daughter from participating in this behavior around other people without making her feel that there is something wrong with it.

Talk with your daughter and explain that the sensations she is feeling are good ones and are normal, but that her behavior must be limited to times when she is alone. If she continues to do this around other people, remind her quietly that she should go to her room.

Most children stop stimulating themselves in public as they get older. You may want to talk with your pediatrician at some point to rule out the possibility of an infection or irritation if the behavior seems to increase in frequency or intensity.

Barbara Potts has worked as an elementary school counselor for many years. She has a BA in psychology from Wake Forest University, and an M.Ed. in Guidance and Counseling from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro.

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