Steps to Take Before Filing for Divorce

by: Jessica Thiefels

Jessica Thiefels has been writing for more than 10 years. She is currently a lifestyle blogger and the editor of Whooo's Reading and Carpe Daily. When she's not writing or editing, she's trying new DIY projects around the house or training fitness clients.

In the U.S., more than 40 percent of marriages end in divorce. While it can be a stressful time for both parties involved, these eight steps can help ensure the process is a smooth one.

Plan in Advance How to Tell Your Children

Decide with your spouse when and how you will deliver the news to your children, because it can have a lasting impact on their self-esteem, emotional state and performance in school.

Family psychologist Kristen Wynns recommends aiming to keep your children's lives as normal as possible. Living arrangements and what works best with their everyday schedules should be discussed in private to avoid further confusion and hurt.

Attempt to Mediate with Your Spouse

Before litigation, it's recommended to attend mediation with your spouse. Mediation occurs when couples try to negotiate appropriate terms of divorce with the help of a neutral third party.

"You work through the issues you need to resolve with a neutral party, so the two of you can end your marriage as amicably and cost effective as possible," says Brian James, Divorce Mediator. Negotiation before litigation helps prevents an all-out war in the courtroom and provides the best possible outcome for each party involved.

Don't Rush Through the Process

While it can be tempting to rush through a divorce settlement, it's important to take your time. Rushing through the process can cause you to make spur-of-the-moment decisions about custody, finances, and more that may have consequences down the road.

Hire Your Own Attorney

It's vital that you each hire a separate attorney, even if you and your spouse have come to an agreement on the terms of divorce.

"Once you start down the road of divorce, what is in your best interest is no longer necessarily in your spouse's best interest," explains Nanda Davis, specialized divorce attorney.

She continues, "Even if your spouse wants to split everything equally, it is often impossible to split assets like a house, antique furniture or complicated investments fifty-fifty. Disputes about the details often arise."

Gain Access to All Finances

Begin setting money aside as soon as possible. The divorce process can be costly, and you need to be financially prepared.

If you think your divorce could become financially complex, hire a financial analyst to help analyze marriage assets to ensure you receive all the finances you are entitled too.

Keep the Peace With Your Spouse

It's easy to become frustrated during the divorce process. While arguing and disagreeing at some point during your divorce is common, try to keep the peace for the sake of your family. Avoid using your children as pawns, and discuss any custody concerns you have with your lawyer.

If you are a parent on the receiving end of custodial threats or verbal abuse, avoid retaliation. Remember in most cases, your spouse cannot deny you a chance to see your kids, advises Jeffery Leving, nationally renowned attorney and fathers' rights advocate.

Update Your Will

The entire divorce process can take months, or even years, leaving your life in a constant state of transition. Take the necessary steps to update your will, so your soon-to-be-ex does not have power of attorney in the event you pass away or become ill.

Avoid New Romances During the Divorce Process

Starting a new relationship while going through a divorce can be complicated. Save your family from more hurt and anger by waiting until your divorce is final before introducing a new relationship.