Calmly explain what you found and ask him to tell you what happened in your bedroom. I'd also have a discussion with him about his sexual activity with his girlfriend. It will be difficult to hold back your anger. You son has made some serious mistakes in judgment and has shaken your trust in him. Let him know these feelings and your profound disappointment in his actions. Allow him to redeem himself with honesty, remorse, and a heartfelt promise to behave with more integrity. Ask yourselves, "What do we want most to come out of this talk with our son?" When you have your answer to that question, you will know how best to proceed.
Toddler and Teenager Expert Advice from Carleton Kendrick, Ed.M., LCSW