He wants us to let him spend his April vacation in California with her. He says he'll pay for his ticket and other expenses if we will let him go. We don't think he should go because he isn't old enough. Also, he hasn't known her very long (only 3 or 4 weeks). We don't know anything about her parents, in whose care we'd be leaving him. Should we let him go?
If you could gain enough of a good sense about this girl's family from conversing with them at length, I wouldn't rule out the possibility of letting your son visit her. Ask yourself what would be risked by letting him go. If you can't offer a response that is rooted in a fear for his overall well-being, then I'd be persuaded to trust him as the responsible young man that you know him to be. I would also strongly recommend that you invite this girl to visit your home over the upcoming vacation. Your son needs to understand that you are providing him with a way to see this girl. Seeing her is the main objective here, not seeing her in California.
Call this girl's parents and get a feel for who they are as parents. Don't be afraid to ask them questions, as this is hardly a plan for your children to just see a movie together. After speaking with her parents, discuss your thoughts about the situation with your husband and then negotiate a decision with your son. I'll bet that your family will come to a reasonable decision based on mutual respect and sound judgment. Thanks for writing.