Essential Ingredient #1
The first one is easy, or least it ought to be: Be a loving, accepting presence.
Essential Ingredient #2
The second one is a little more difficult: Trust your educated intuition. Moms have every right to believe in themselves. So-called experts aren't the only ones who know a thing or two about raising daughters. Paula J. Caplan, Ph.D., author of The New Don't Blame Mother, says that the whole notion that experts are the only ones with sound reasoning here intensifies a mother's unfounded sense of inadequacy.
So trust in your own "educated opinions." This book is in no way meant to encourage mothers to relinquish their creative thought or authority in favor of the printed word. The information provided needs to be consumed, digested, and applied by your special brand of mothering to your very unique daughter. "Mother knows best," is, as far as I am concerned, a valid statement.
Essential Ingredient #3
The third one requires thinking outside oneself: Maintain an open-minded vision. Without this ingredient it will be difficult to see your daughter's point of view, accept her dreams, or recognize her special gifts.
Essential Ingredient #4
This ingredient poses a singular challenge to the woman called mother: Never lose sight of yourself.