If your husband did attempt to take your kids out of state without your knowledge, I would seek strong legal sanctions against him. Parents kidnap their kids more often than strangers do. You would never want to place your kids in that danger. If you and he had agreed to his taking your kids to North Carolina, your daughter's reluctance to visit him is probably tied to her fears about your divorce and about being separated from you. I certainly would not force your children to be alone with him.
Please see a family therapist about handling your divorce in a manner that does not frighten your kids or cause them to feel uncertain about their future and their relationships with both you and your husband. This is a very trying time for all family members and your kids' well-being should be the primary focus of you and your husband throughout the divorce proceedings and the months that follow. Your daughter's fearful behavior is your clue that you need to devote more sensitivity to your kids as they experience this major upheaval in their lives.