College freshmen like your son return home with a new found sense of autonomy and a vampire-like sleep and social schedule. Participation in household chores is not on their "top ten list." They are in fact, just visiting. I remember being saddened upon hearing both my college kids say they were looking forward to "getting back home", referring to college. I guess I had naively thought home would always mean our home.
His rhythm-breaking return notwithstanding, you are, as we have been, delighted to have your boy home. Let him hear and feel that joy upon his arrival. Barring an attitude and behavior that shows a blatant disregard for family members, I see no reason not to let him lead the vacation life he chooses.
I'd ask him what he planned to do, whom he planned to see, and what he thought his schedule would be like during vacation. I believe it's fair to ask him if he'll be joining you for meals (forget breakfast!) and social events. You also deserve to know his whereabouts in the evening and when/if he expects to return home. He needs to guarantee you a phone call if his plans and return time change significantly. "I know you're a college boy now but humor me, I need to know you're OK."
Respecting his independence does not mean allowing him to upset you. Our kids are not being willful or purposefully giving us migraines when they leave their dirty clothes and wet towels in a heap on the bathroom floor. They just need to be good-naturedly reminded that your (their) household's long-standing common courtesies are still in place. Your humor and giving them a little slack helps a lot in their making that college-home transition.
That first vacation home from college is a marker. Things really have changed and you both know it. Focusing on your happiness in having him home sets the tone for the best reunion possible. When he arrives, ask him if he might have a slot available for you on his schedule. You know, take in a movie, go out for pancakes. He may even pencil you in!
Enjoy this maiden return. Remember to be thankful that he wants to come home. Happy Holidays.